Have you lost your identity in a relationship? Have you lost a sense of who you are and the person you could be? If so, then flee. Make a plan and get out. Liberate your spirit while you still can. Any love that carries this price is unworthy of the name. If someone cannot love you except that you suppress the person you truly are, then in fact it is not you who are loved. Rather, it is only a reflection of your partners self-love. Make a new home for yourself. Decorate it as you will. Let no one else have a word in this. Instead, it must be your place. It must reflect not the wishes of your friends or family but rather only the spirit you have newly set free. Stop serving others. Spend your leisure time as you wish, without guilt, without apology. Indulge your whimsy. Improvise. Break away from the script you have been given. It doesnt suit you. It was never written for you. And be patient with yourself. This process will take time. Rediscovering yourself will take months and years. Breaking with old obligations, and with the sense of duty that goes with it, does not happen on the spot merely by strength of will. So dont be hard on yourself if now and then you slip back into old patterns. Just keep moving forward, a little at a time. You will see that a cool person is inside you. Yes, with flaws and failings, as we all have. With lessons to learn. But a cool person all the same. As this person emerges, you may lose some people you once called friend. If so, then even as this may be hard, realize they were in reality never your friend. Instead, they were the friend of an impostor, a counterfeit, the false person you once were in deference to the demands of tradition, or to custom and social convention, or to a spouse. You have an exciting future ahead. An adventure which you yourself will author. New friends will come into your life — people who value and cherish the real person you are inside. Suddenly your days will be filled with color. You will feel things more vividly. You will not walk through your days half-numb from robotic allegiance to expectation. Life will continue to have its share of disappointments and hardship. But you will experience joy as never before. And for you there will be no looking back.
Posted on: Sun, 28 Sep 2014 15:56:22 +0000