Having a child is never ever easy. Its a huge adjustment for parents that begins the first morning after a long night with a crying baby and limited sleep. Its stress, both physically and emotionally. If that child turns out to have any anomalous issue, the situation becomes even more complicated. Learning how to help them, administering medicines, help them eat, extended years of diapers, regular therapies, researching every potential new finding that might improve their quality of life and a complete loss of autonomy is really hard on anyone. If youre not there you really cant understand what its like, and there is no deficit of people who will come and point out how youre doing it wrong. If youre mentally fragile it can make you question yourself, your parenting, your competence. It is a real problem. Thats why we need to both change the narrative that surrounds children with chronic and sometimes lifelong disabilities and how we approach the people who will care for them and advocate for their needs for the rest of their lives - their parents. Have a friend whose child is different? Want to be a good friend? Listen. Do it without judgment and without suggestions unless youre asked. When you make suggestions, start by acknowledging that you know only what has worked in your life with your child. Dont shame them for their child or how they handle things, especially when theyre having a clearly horrible day. A kind word, a how are you doing? or an offer of help can make such a huge difference. Trust me on this.
Posted on: Wed, 05 Nov 2014 15:51:18 +0000
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