Hawak Hamay will discuss Parenting Teens next week (July 15-17), and I would like to share with a powerful email I received recently from a teenager addressed to all the parents out there. Dear parents, I want to start out by saying thank you. Thank you because I know you do your best to raise me in probably the most difficult (and awkward) times of my life. But let me just remind you: being a teenager isn’t easy. Our bodies change, our moods swing, and new feelings arise. It’s truly a whirlwind and quite frankly, we don’t know what to do about it. That’s why I’m asking you to help me. Help me through this time in my life. I think it starts out with patience. Please be patient with me, even though I’m a lot to handle. I’m already going through a difficult time and what would make it even worse is feeling that my parents are always out to get me. I will have mood swings, and we will have fights. But I ask you to please be patient with me. Secondly, there’s guidance. There’s a fine line between guidance and being overly controlling. I’d really appreciate it if you guided me through life. Allow me to make my own mistakes so that I learn, but reassure me that you’ll always be there if things go wrong. Don’t make me feel like I’m under house arrest. If you do lock me up in the house or prevent me from going out, believe me—I will find ways to get out. As I’ve come to learn from my friends and my own experience, the stricter the parents, the sneakier the kids. We teenagers always find a way, so you might have to think twice about all those rules we constantly fight about. I think the next tip comes along nicely with guidance: trust. You often say that you can’t trust me, but how can you if you never give me the opportunity? Trust that I’ll be fine. Trust that I’ll be home safely, and trust that you’ve done your very best to raise me with the right values. It’s now up to me to show you what I’ve learned, though that doesn’t mean I’m perfect. I said it once, and I’ll say it again: I will make mistakes. Lastly, I think it all comes down love. It really is a confusing time, but never let me get confused about your love for me. Reassure me that you’re there to talk or be a shoulder to cry on. Assure me that there is nothing I can do to make you love me less. It’s one thing to know at the back of my head that my parents love me, but it’s another to be assured over and over again about it. Again, thank you for seeing me through this time and though it may not always seem that way, I love and appreciate you. I know how hard it must be to have a teenager, but please do try to remember what it was like. Through the fights, the mood swings, and acne, I love you. Always, Your Child
Posted on: Fri, 12 Jul 2013 02:13:09 +0000
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