Hehehe... *dead* Types if comrades you meet in campus; 1. THE VILLAGER He arrives in slippers and a multicolored shirt. They take a whole semester before they can master all campus streets, always referring to the campus map to locate the dining hall and lecture halls. They have a heavy accent and shrub without apologies. They carry books in a ‘Naivas’ paper bag to class and they don’t use a pillow. They often confuse the Vice Chancellor and refer to him as the Head Master. The ladies wear long skirts and they never hug any nigga. They are often called from home by their strict uncle and reminded that ‘Nyawira kumbuka ulienda university kusoma. Usicheze na wanaumme ni wabaya’ They have old phones and a spare ‘Airtel’ SIM card to call folks at home.During graduation the whole village graces their graduation aboard Nyar Kasipul Kabondo CDF high school Bus. Most are tribal and walk in a knit bunch of fellow villagers speaking their mother tongue loudly on university lawns. They soon join ethnic clubs, say Karatina Market University Student’s Association or Nyakach Village Scholars’ Association. 2. THE PASTORS They have separated themselves from the sins of the youth and pleasures of this evil generation. Christ comes first and the rest follow. They sit in front during exams to avoid the temptations of cheating. Those from the facton of the Mighty Prophet of God, Dr. Owour, never wear jeans and the ladies avoid trousers like Ebola. They have Morning Glory daily (I mean a Holy MG not the one YOU had this morning) and every Friday is a Kesha to strengthen each other in the walk of faith. They great each other with ‘Bwana asifiwe ndugu’ and to them hugging is evil. While drinkers are reveling on weekends, they spend time doing Bible study or door-to-door evangelism. They are always warning you against hell and the wrath of God. When exams approach, they use spiritual clichés like; ‘Mind of the righteous is blessed’ or ‘We are more than conquerors’ to console themselves. They label themselves the light and salt of the campus. 3. BEGGARS These are idiots who are always broke. Woe unto you if you stay with them because they borrow everything including tissue paper and your toothbrush. They are always calling home to their retired father who is always ‘mteja.’ They are strategically talkative, making everybody in the class and hostel their friend. They then sweet- talk them for money. Their debts are bigger than the national wage bill. They always have business plans which they never execute. At the end of semester they are always walking around with harambee cards claiming to be raising funds for children homes, of course it is a lie. They never photocopy hand out notes, waiting for you to photocopy then they elope with your copy until exam time. 4. BOOK WORMS You study hard to go to University, you don’t go to University to study hard. Read that again. Some niggas have never heard this rule. They are over ambitious, and read their butts off to attain that first class honour, ignorant that it will more probably go to the Professor’s girlfriend. They trans night and dip legs in water reading. They are known by the Librarian by name. If they are not in their room reading, they are in the library researching or in the lecturer hall writing notes. They are mean with knowledge and they won’t allow you to copy their homework. Actually they do assignments early and hide it claiming they are yet to. During exams they sit at the front, and cover their work religiously. They are the first to answer questions in class, giving answers you have never read anywhere and leaving you wondering if you are really serious with life.
Posted on: Wed, 22 Oct 2014 13:45:52 +0000
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