Hello and welcome to the mental health helpline. .If you obsessive - TopicsExpress

Hello and welcome to the mental health helpline. .If you obsessive compulsive press 1 repeatedly. If you co dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3,4,5, and 6. If you arw paranoid we know who and what you are,stay on the line so we can trace your call. If disillusioned press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully,the voice inside will tell you which number to press. If you depressed,doesnt matter which nr you press no one will answer.. Have a good day

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