Hello everybody, I hope youre enjoying your Sunday. Thank you for the input regarding that friend request and message we talked about yesterday, you helped me. I am still, and will always be, somewhat of a little girl inside, who grew up loving everyone, and thinking she was also loved. Growing up, in many different towns, I was always in front of people, as the First Baptist ministers daughter, which became a burden, to some degree, as I got older. But, it made me feel loved by a lot of people in many towns. (Again, naievete.) So, for me to love and kinda trust people right at the beginning just comes natural to me, even though I am old enough to know that everyone is not trustworthy nor lovable. I know this with my head, but dont fully believe it at first. So, sometimes, I need a reality check when it comes to people who have unsavory agendas. I usually dont see it coming and am almost always in shock when it happens. Also, in response to those of you who suggested I keep my friends list to actual friends and family only......I dont use FB like you do. You see, I have been out of commision from life, so to speak, for many years prior to getting on FB in July 2012. I was in an assisted living facility for about 2 and a half years, and my personality just died in there. I literally stopped talking. Literally. The people who worked in there were shocked when I did start talking, and that only occurred after I was given hope by friends I had known from years before, who found out I was in there. They reassured me that they were going to figure out how to get me outta there somehow, and that God was in them finding me, after not knowing where I was for years. So, for the first time in years, I had hope that I wasnt going to be left to stay in there. I thought I was going to die in there, and I had just given up living. My body was alive, but my spirit had died. The Kathy you know on here was dead. I had lived with my parents and taken care of them for a couple of years as their health was failing, and I was becoming increasingly disabled and in pain. I also had my own low-income based govmt. apt. in a dangerous, high crime drug-infested area, which also was an extremely depressing situation. And, one of my sons started using, and that, too was an ongoing heartbreak, which is still with me. Im not sure where he is right now, I have stopped taking his phone calls. I cant bear it anymore. I have had to give him to God, which does not come naturally to a Mother worth her salt. My ex and I are not on good terms. I wish we were. I so need to talk to him about our sons sometimes, but he wont. So be it, I have no control over that. I lived in 2 different nursing homes for 3 months each. I was given surprise going-away parties when I left each one of them. They said that had never happened before at either place. I made a lot of friends, and polished womens fingernails and put decals on them, and made stretch bracelets for them. I did this for the patients and the staff. I even performed for the physical therapy department, and sang and danced around on a little stage they had made for me, with a microphone and music. I sang some Aretha songs, Pointer Sisters, James Brown I Feel Good and other funny ones, like My bologna has a first name. The physical therapists danced around and twirled the patients around in their wheelchairs, while they clapped their hands and tapped their feet, or tried to. It was exercise therapy and occupational therapy for them, and it made them smile. It made me smile, too. Anyway, I dont have but one sibling, and he lives a long way away from me. He has not laid eyes on me since spring of 2010, for about 15 minutes. I live a very solitary life, except on here. So, for me to keep friends and family only on my FB timeline, would be intensely lonely for me. Just so you know, I have friends from all over the world now, thanks to FB. So, I do accept more friend requests than some of you might. When I tell you that you mean more to me than you know, it is the absolute truth. God bless you.
Posted on: Sun, 16 Mar 2014 16:46:32 +0000
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