Hello everyone. Im so sorry that I havent posted anything in such a long time. These last few months have been the hardest that my family has every had to go through. So many ups and downs. Im sure as most of you already know, Mom passed away 2 weeks ago today. Im going to share her battle story.... I dont know that Im ready, but I dont know if Ill ever be, so here goes. After Moms surgery in August, we had a rush of emotions. On the good days, we had hope. We had hope, happiness and a sense that everything was going to be alright. The bad days, we still had hope (although it was hard) but we had the grim reminder of what an beast this cancer is. Aunty Kandi (from in Saskatchewan) came to stay with dad and to help with mom in the hospital. There was a period of time where dad had to go out of town to work and I truthfully dont know what we would have done without her. Aunty Kaija (Moms sister) also came and spent some quality time with mom, keeping her company and supporting Mummu (moms mom) and Uncle Reijo. All three of whom have been have had their lives affected by this cancer for now the 3rd time. You see, this cancer affects everyone...... The support benefit was a HUGE success.... We were astounded by the people who came and the donations that we recieved. Everyone had a fantastic time, listening to the music by Night Train (whom I highly reccommend!!) and enjoying some dancing, etc. We sure know how to party!!! Mom came out and stayed until midnight. She had a great time and was so happy to be able to say hi to everyone. She was pretty tired by the end of the night but Dad said she fell asleep with a smile on her face. After many battles with the healthcare system (that I really dont want to relive at this present time), Mom was transferred to the oncology floor in order to finish up her physio and occupational therapy and to finish up things at home too, so that she could be at home. She had a fall while in hospital and as part of routine protocol after a fall, had a CT of her head done.... thats when the final tumour was found. We were devastated. Mom had made it so far, fought so hard. But she was not willing to give up. Not in the slightest. Dad tried to talk to her about it but she refused to hear it. She said she didnt want to talk about cancer or treatments or anything anymore. She wanted to have her family and friends close and live as normally as possible. The decision was made with Dad and Dr.Anthes that the best course of action would be radiation, as the chemotherapy was clearly not effective anymore and would only make Mom really sick. She did 3 weeks of radiation, which did slow the tumour down and allowed us to have a little bit more time with her. I would like to say, my dad is pretty amazing. I know he will say that he did what he feels he should have done, but hes amazing. He has been by my moms side through this whole journey. Even in the times he felt like he was struggling, he pushed on for her.... to give her the best life he could possibly give her. Mom was able to come home and with help, Dad was able to keep her as comfortable and looked after as was possible. The last week prior to my mom passing was beyond difficult. It was heartwrenching....... to see this wonderfully strong, full of life person becoming weaker by the day broke our hearts. Only physically weaker, the SISU was still strong in her eyes. She slept alot, kept comfortable in her waterbed with a beautiful blanket that was given to her by family friends. I want to thank everyone for being a part of this journey with us. Weve all learned so much about family, friendship, sisu, life..... This is what it is. My Dad said something that I will always remember..... This is one of the hardest things we will ever do in life. I dont feel like Ill make it through, but I will, because thats what we do. That statement right there shows the strength that my family has thrived on. Because of the support we humbly recieved, between this amazing site and the benefit, you helped us give Mom the best and most comfortable moments in her final days. Dad was able to stay by her side and we never had to worry about whether we could afford equipment or services. That is a gift that we can never truely accept thanks for. Her life celebration was a beautiful tribute to her. Mom and Dads passion lay in asphalt racing. Mom was buried in her race suit which was beautifully adorned with purple and grey ribbon. The church service was meaningful and beautiful. Thank goodness for my wonderful husband, who has been my safe place through all of this. He gives me the calm that I need to be able to continue on. I miss my mom so much.... as do my kids, my sisters and my brother. I wish I could shield them from this pain. My dad, I wish I could give him a hug and make it all alright. But I cant do that. All we can do is be here for each other. One thing I have really had a reminder about is family. All of this has brought everyone closer, even if we hadnt realized we were drifting apart. I have tears in my eyes right now as I thank each and every one of you for being there. Whether for a phone call, cup of coffee, a hug, whatever. Just thanks.... :)
Posted on: Mon, 24 Nov 2014 06:34:15 +0000
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