Help us to solve dowry issue with your suggestion Our year’s long study made us conclude that if we can abolish dowry practice from India, we can solve the problem of rapes, female foeticide, maternal and infant mortality rates, women unemployment (women for women), higher inflation, poverty, suicide by poor farmers on top of that it can save more than $ 40 billion every year for Indian economy. Even if we don’t achieve any other target; dowry itself is single largest discriminatory practice which discriminated the existence of female being born as girl. We need to abolish dowry anyhow so that parents will stop feeling girl child a burden to them. For this, we did analysis of what is the possible way to abolish dowry. We found - There are only three methods to abolish dowry • By asking all men to avoid asking dowry on the name of god. Seriously, this will be most failed movement on the planet and after 1000 years too, we will have failure in our hands. • By bringing a law to unite all parents and stop giving dowry from certain day of any month not in one city or village but all over India. It looks like this will work. If no one gives dowry who will ask dowry. But the problem again is safety of girls in the in law’s house. • When girls from whole nation decide to stop marrying with dowry, same day boys should also stop asking dowry. We chose Haridwar for this research as research lab to find how to abolish dowry from whole India. Our NGO in Haridwar conducted a massive awareness program in all schools and college to make all girls stop marrying any groom whose family asks dowry. We placed 500 big banners in every corner of Haridwar where we invited people to make Haridwar India’s first dowry abolished city.(see our activity on Facebook page– Haridwar India’s first dowry abolished city) Volunteers running each and every streets of city with megaphones asking people to avoid dowry. But we failed. No body responded to our movement seriously. What we learnt, nobody wants to take that risk of being first person. They all said whole city should start this on same day. All girls from whole city should start a movement to avoid marrying anybody who ask dowry. We reached mayor of city for same. Reply from mayor was its ok we can support you for this movement but our daughters from Haridwar get married in other neighboring cities. If Haridwar starts this movement people from other city and town will stop marrying in our city. Also, boys from our city will go outside to marry and won’t marry with girls from Haridwar. Then we concluded every city in India has neighboring city. That means we can’t abolish dowry from one village or city or state. Whole nation has to start this on same day. We were failed to generate any enthusiasm n small town like Haridwar in six months, we concluded it will take hundred years to achieve this target for whole nation. We were hopeless and almost about to quit our dream to abolish dowry. Then we realized some anti-corruption and antigovernment movement in India and Egypt. An anti-corruption movement for some weeks by Anna and anti-government movement for 17 days in Egypt changed the mind of people how lightly they used to take that serious issue and it changed whole system resulting in two new governments. Yes, two new governments were formed out of some week movement. Then we started to think what is there special in mass movement which changed two governments? Mass movement or revolution has a great psychological effect on common people as whole nation comes on street for change - together. A receptor for change is created in all individual’s brain. That receptor makes people think again and again what they revolt for. That means if we can bring a nationwide mass movement against dowry at least for 2-3 weeks, people will discuss to stop dowry in their family, society relatives for months. Well this is what we missed. Everybody knows dowry is bad but nobody discussed in mass how to abolish dowry. A mass movement against dowry is only way to make everybody start rejecting dowry both dowry givers and takes. We have to abolish dowry from whole nation on same day with months long pre planned massive awareness program starting with at least some week worth massive anti dowry rally all over India ignited by girls from colleges first then followed by all parents’ brothers and all class of people. But, before we start mass movements which will make everybody stop asking and giving dowry we have to do something to make sure security of brides at in law’s house. Then we started to look back at our anti dowry laws to see if it provides any security to our brides. We saw dowry death and violence increased almost 10 times after 1961 when the government passed anti- dowry law. Then we questioned why violence is increasing every day even after passing the law? Analysis was- more than 95% of girls who are killed /abused for dowry are those who give 5 lakh instead of 8 lakh (only they got abused who gave incomplete amount of dowry). There might be rarely 2-3 % of girls who dont give dowry at all died or harassed for dowry demand. Government has law to punish husbands torturing his wife for dowry. But government doesn’t have any mechanism to punish people asking dowry before marriage. In fact a family is happier who don’t ask dowry at all compared to family asking dowry. Let’s see some more laws and its analysis. Government bring two laws, first, every girl has equal right in parent’s property and 2nd no man has right to ask dowry. Both law failed. In first law, government asks grooms to take money from girl’s parent and in second law Government asks the grooms to refuse money from girl’s parents. In both cases, 99% grooms refuse to follow the law. I don’t blame people. I blame lame government and its method to implement the law. Condition is more than 80 % Indian don’t even know these laws. That means people don’t want to follow any law by government in their marriage culture and there is big loop hole in law itself. We don’t have any strong system to punish someone who ask dowry before marriage. No girls want to destroy her married life after marriage by putting her husband in jail and when matter reaches police; either girl is in hospital or dead. More than 80% violence on women is always unheard because of this mentality. We need something in between police and family which can act right then when violence against women is in its initial status. To abolish dowry we need 1. A nationwide anti-dowry movement 2. A loophole free law to punish or social boycott dowry asking person before marriage and 3. A system / mechanism to act on violence against women before it need police in any family. 1. A nationwide anti-dowry movement to raise girls and refuse marriage with dowry from certain day - all media is in Delhi and highest number of Women College is in Delhi. Media is always ready to help Indian women. If it took Anna two week to get national and media attention, it will take one day for girls from Delhi to get national attention. That means bringing a nationwide anti dowry movement is easiest job. During same movement girl and their parents will ask government to pass a law to punish dowry asking person before marriage. If government can pass Lok Pal bill why can’t they pass new anti-dowry law which will save millions lives and billions for its economy.(we have all our action plan ready for 3 week long anti – dowry and anti-rape movement that we can discuss) 2. A loophole free law to punish or social boycott dowry asking person before marriage- this is most important place where we need tough question, serious analysis of all of you to suggest any idea to make it loophole free. Even though we tried to made it as best as we can to make it loophole free, one brain is not enough for all ideas on same. Let’s see how we used a concept of an anti- dowry logo and little technology to weaken the dowry demands. What is anti-dowry logo- most of anti-dowry laws made by government went unheard and people don’t even know these laws. That means lack of awareness program by government for same. We need to take the table out of law maker’s office and put them in Haridwar where people will see live how laws are made. We will make it largest ever reality show. The anti-dowry movement and month long research of law making program in Haridwar will make every single Indian know what anti-dowry laws are and then government will put that anti-dowry logo on every single door of Indian house. That logo will represent a package of all those laws. People will see that anti dowry logo every day. Recall everyday being value of good citizen through the laws associated with anti-dowry logo. This is what we need. People to know all the laws by heart. This logo should be placed on every house at least week ago the day selected by all girls to avoid marriage with dowry. We will make sure no girls will marry any family where there is no anti-dowry logo. 3. A system / mechanism to act on violence against women before it need police in any family. Every family in Indian society hates police in their house. But, with little trick, we can create a police in all house for safe guard of womens right. POLICE MAMMA. We have to start a big revolutionary awareness program where we will unite all mother for respect of women. All mothers will have to make sure that their sons and other family members respect the sentiment of anti-dowry logo which in terms respects the womens right of safe and violence free life in a family. All we need a team of young educated girls and moms from all families in one society and bring a balance of co-ordination among them. This job can be done well in Haridwar research program and can be passed to rest of India by media. We will make Haridwar a research lab for anti- dowry laws but people of Haridwar will not get any interest if whole nation will not support them for this noble cause. Yes, when whole nation will support them there will be big enthusiasm in people of Haridwar to participate in a change which will better all future generation of Indian society. We need a support movement from all over India by Indian women and that will be anti-dowry movement we discussed earlier. And same movement/revolution will create enthusiasm and awareness in all Indians for big change. We will have to keep this enthusiasm alive for at least 3-4 weeks and then we won’t need to request any Indian men to refuse dowry. They will refuse it them self when girls will refuse to marry any family without anti dowry logo. Will the whole system/mechanism be loophole free or people will misuse the anti-dowry logo? Yes, more than 90% people will stop asking dowry after all this revolution, anti-dowry logo placement and by refusal of marriage by girl on demand of dowry. For some exceptional cased who will be found asking dowry, it will be quite easy for any girl’s parent to figure out where he is going to be asked for dowry or not. In that case the person can record the conversation of dowry demand and submit to local police station (AAP anti-bribe method). On this case, the local authority will visit the house of groom and if found guilty of asking dowry, that anti-dowry logo will be removed permanently from that house. That means that guy will never be able to get married ever. A complete social boycott of dowry greedy family. That punishment will be aired live to whole nation that will bring more threat in possible dowry greedy family. All girls parents will be asked to visit local ward office, or police station to check the validity of anti-dowry logo before they visit the family for marriage talk. That means police will act before marriage not after marriage. After marriage women organization/society will work to make sure marriage is safe and happy. Arvind Kejriwal says only god can save Indian girls, Shila Dixit says same and Man Mohan Singh says people from society has to come ahead. Yes, we need to act for a society of respect. Respect is not created by punishing people, but by bringing a stream of respect in whole nation. One anti-dowry movement will bring an environment of enormous respect in society. Please do put your analysis and questions below to help us improve our project plan to see if we can abolish dowry from India or it is really impossible to abolish dowry. Find us on Facebook at “Haridwar India’s first dowry abolished city” and email us at intas_first@yahoo
Posted on: Sun, 26 Jan 2014 10:25:34 +0000
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