Here are the contest entries for the 2015 Pothole Poet Laureate, please make your choice. Poem #1 So Im swerving and driving in a squiggly line. Alas, I cannot say it was due to the Boones Farm Wine. Im dodging potholes, you see, avoiding those dips, they make my tires go skip, thud, skip! So I called the dude at the hall and my phone went ring ring ring. Said dude answered and I shouted Please, fix those things! So I drove the road the next day... said potholes were gone, my commute was less bumpy, but still quite too long, as I drive along Route 4 to Portsmouth, I plead, The speed limits 50, not 40. The old dude in front of me drives a car that for him is much too sporty. I get to work an hour later, for doctors and patients to whom I cater, my mind on that moment I can get in my car and drive that long bumpy ride. The clock strikes four, boom, Im out the door, and on the road I drive again, each little frost heave jiggling my Chevy. I get onto Twombley and Thud! Theres another one. Ye pothole, for whom my car was just too heavy. The roads are like a minefield this time of year. Avoid them and wish the road fixing dude was here. So Im swerving and driving in a squiggly line. Think Ill go home and bust open that Boones Farm Wine... Poem #2 Hold on to your seats, (as I could go on for weeks), about all the potholes in Sanford! I sure do frown, as I drive around town, wondering how my tax dollars were spent. Now I find it disturbing, that we all drive around swerving, just to save our cars. I once was stopped by a friendly local cop, who asked how much I had been consuming. When I explained, about all the potholes in Maine- he just chuckled & waved me off! I knew right then, Id be hitting potholes again, for fear a second stop by a Sanford cop, might not end as well! So when you feel a bump or a thump, on the way to the dump, (to get rid of your orange bags & Christmas tree...) go ahead...THINK OF ME!!! Dont drive like a drunk, trying to avoid extra bumps & lumps! Although I feel your pain, potholes are part of winter in Maine! So avoid the migraine and stay in your lane! For your time will come, when youre under the gun, and you may be asked to walk a line....So the next time youre driving, (and its not that fun riding), take the potholes & grin! Remember...... ITS MAINE YOURE IN !!!!! Poem #3 Leave the house one morning. What do I see? A little black hole staring at me. Barely get by without hitting a tree. Time to call a town trustee. See the hole, watch it grow. Add some salt, stir in some snow. See the tire, watch it blow. Silly hole. I need a tow. See the crew arrive with cheeks aglow. Fill that hole with hot patch, Joe! Glad that hole has gone away, my car will run another day. Whats that? Its back! Hole, go away! The crew is here again and I have to say, When they fill that hole, they earn their pay! Pull out of my drive, its back again. Welcome the crew as they come to fill it in. Want some coffee and donuts (beer or gin)? Need to use the john, located in my den? I have an idea. Im not afraid of grime. To not accept would be a crime. Just leave some hot patch here for next time. Ill fill it myself. Wont charge you a dime. Poem #4 Oh I hit a pothole today my tire just flew away. I swear that pothole was just looking at me in the oddest kinda way The only thing I could say was no freaking way The tow truck driver came to my rescue and saved the day. Now its another bill I have to pay. This is not how I wanted to spend my day. Late for work and missing out on pay day. How could I forget that pothole was in the way. Well this concludes the worst part of my day.
Posted on: Tue, 27 Jan 2015 02:24:14 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015