Here goes nothing: I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder roughly two years ago after what had to have been the most frightening experience(s) of my entire life. Which is really saying something because I have struggled with this for two and a half decades. My first voluntary television appearance, last winter, was on Speak Your Mind on channel 8. I was reluctant to post it because for 1.one thing I look terrible, which is really a rather shallow way of thinking, and 2. I was so incredibly ashamed and embarrassed by my disorder, after all everyone I have ever known I have offended, pissed off, or has some awful story/memory of an experience/encounter they have had with me. You see no one would ever treat a person with cancer or auto immune disorder, for instance, with anything less than kindness and care. It is not that way with people that have mental illness. Quite the opposite happens, as a matter of fact, and I find myself with very few people left in my life, and I like it that way. Sad, but true. Honestly at times I would just love to live in a cabin in the woods where there wasnt any pressure to behave a certain way. I am constantly trying to adjust my behavior to fit the given situation, and if I am too happy I am questioned, and if I am having a bad day, I am questioned as well. It is exhausting, and quite frankly a little demeaning. This is the most difficult post I have ever made, and I am doing it so that those who know what I am talking about can watch the show and see that there is hope. I am doing incredibly well, but thats because I work very hard at it, and I have help when I need it.
Posted on: Wed, 25 Jun 2014 07:12:56 +0000
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