Here is a true story that I wrote: Title: The Big Princess Day Shirk. The Big Princesss Day Shirk. Tiger just laid in bed and did not get up that day. He knew what was happening out there, the awful sun shone terribly bright, blinding, and searing, so he stayed in his bed, as the cold air from his high powered climate control system blew 20 ℃ air over him continuously. Heavy, dark shades blocked almost all the snyunsnyine from coming into his window, only a tiny point of light shon through, and made a little point on his otherwise black ceiling, even though elsewhere it was painted white with sparkles. Tiger did not even want to think about what the hell was going on outside his building (stone house), so he stayed hidden inside the stone fortress, behind the metal framed bullet proof glass window, darkened with heavy drapes, # 12 darkness on the window, and another heavy pull down shade behind the drapes that went from the ceiling down to the flore. But in the back of his mind, he know what he had to avoid, the dreaded: Princess Day, where the females were treated far better than they deserved, these guys who went out looking for girls, were just batzoid, thought Tiger, who the heck supplies them? They have to pay for food and drink, unlike the girls there. They have to find their own dang transport, but not the girls. But food and drink were free for girls? How could Tiger possibly power himself enuf to withstand that kind of current draw? And the heat? SKRUIT! Said Tiger, I am not going and that is that. Tigers phone rang and rang until he set several numbers to go straight to voicemail. I dont know why I ever got hooked up with those boogernoses, Thought Tiger, all they ever do is bother me about finding a girlfrend or some stupid thing like that, Valenbanes Day was bad enough, then Princess Day has to come along and keep him inside his fortress? Tiger clicked on refresh on his browser, watching the calls come into his PBX system, the same dudes over and over, Sam and Tim, I mean, they were not bad horrible guys, but they could be annoying when days like this came up. Tiger liked it that Sam and Tim would play with him when all the growedups would not, they for the most part axepted Tigers disabilities and other short comings and weirdness, but boy, on days like Valenbanes Day and this one, they could be just poopheaded. Soon, Tigers dorebell ringed, and ringed and ringed until Tiger thot he wood go mad, so he opened his House controls panel in his browser and silenced the dorebell. Then, the faint thumping of Sam and Tims fists on his metal dore, then clinking, Sam had found a pipe to bang on it now. Good God, what will I do now but let them in, but they wont drag me to that stupid thing without paying handsomely for it. Soon, Tiger clikced into his House Control Panel and saw sure enuf, on video, Sam and Tim on the cam, nobody else, no beanhatches so Tiger let them in but slammed the dore behind them so as to not let in any beanhatches they might have been hiding. Geezzuss, Tiger! Sam jumped. Any closer and youd have chopped my arse off! Waa! Tiger mumbled sarcasticly muffled under his duvets and comforters. Dayam, can you make it any colder in here Tiger? Tom said sarcasticly. Sure, let me just click it down to 10 ℃ Tiger said reaching for the mouse. Are you nutz? said Tim, Wait, nevermind, dont answer that. Tiger giggled under the covers. Sam looked over at Tim to chastise him, You know better than that! then tried to pull the covers off of Tiger only to be thwarted by the straps holding the cover in place from underneath. Tiger, dont you like the sun? Do you mean that goddang miserable ball of nuclear gases that makes me miserable even from 93 million miles away? Tiger grumbled. Yes, that miserable ball of gas. replied Sam. Then, no, I dont. replied Tiger muffled again. Maybe you should said Sam again. I dont want skin cancer said Tiger muffled. uhhgh! Youre hopeless, Tiger. Sam said resigned. When you lived my life of abuse, then yes it does make you feel very hopeless. Tiger again said muffled from under his comforter. Especially when two dudes who are SUPPOSED to be your friends, you know, who UNDERSTAND your feelings about some things like not dragging me out into the goddang Mojave desert in the middle of the afternoon! The Mojave desert is in California. Sam said. Duh. Said Tiger who hated that they never got his dark humour, but expected him to get their stupid neuro-typical hopeless romantic manjinna humour. Tiger just would not budge. Are you bolted to the bed? Sam asked Tiger. Yes. Said Tiger darkly again. Sam finally prodded. What exactly do we have to do, to get you to get out with us on Princess Day? Tiger made a fake puking sound. Finally after a long pause, Tiger pulled a printout from under his big fluffy bottomless ocean of pillows and handed it to Sam. It was a long list of Requirements that took Sam and Tim quite a long time to take in, but after reading for several minutes, they said We will get you out there if we have to do everything on the list! Heh. Said Tiger from under his mountain of blankets. So Sam and Tim left Tigers house with the list of Requirements determined to ackwire every one of them to Meet Tigers Requirements, One of which, was to get ahold of a wheelchair, in Tigers depressed condition, nothing could give him any strangth that day to even get out of bed. Then, enough ice to chill Tiger down and keep him from reaching a surface temperature of more than 20 ℃, since they could not find a Environmental Suit, but, loads of foodstuffs, even junk food would do that day, as Tiger was keeping his budget, and if Sam and Tim wanted Tiger with them so badly, they would have to spend Their money, Tiger was purrfectly willing to stay indoors that day and not spend a thing. They would have to push Tiger around in his Chilled Chair and feed him whenever the need arose, and then Tiger would not even express any desire for any of the ugly broomsticks that Sam and Tim called Hot Chix that made Tiger shudder in horror. The two left for the things Tiger demanded, it was only another 30 minutes to an hour that Tiger would get any peace within his stone fortress, before Tiger, just along for the ride, would be sulking behind his dark glasses, and complaining about the sun all the way there. ***From author*** Sorry if this is all I wrote lately, I will try to write more if I can.
Posted on: Wed, 16 Oct 2013 00:55:14 +0000