Here is my pregnancy epiphany for the day .. I have always loved a good debate, being the devils advocate, standing up for what I believe in, I like to think and I like the way I think to be challenged .. It fires something up inside of me. But on that same note, I very easily and quickly can take things to far. That same part of my brain also gets fired up when I get angry, and even though anger is a healthy emotion I usually dont handle it that way. I can get loud, obnoxious, rude, mean, hateful (and the list goes on and on). Every time I get that way I somehow justify it in my head. BUT when I see that behavior and attitude in someone else I see ugly. I see bitterness and hate. I see an unhappy person, full of spite, lacking a lot of class. I dont want to be that person, but more importantly I dont want to raise a little girl like that. Or teach a little boy, this is what a women is. I dont think I have ever or will ever go thru anything scarier then realizing the influence Im about to have on another humans life. Im not quite sure the solution to my problem, but Im going to focus on staying in the positive, no more getting sucked into or contributing to the negativity on fb and I might wear a rubber band around my wrist and snap me when I catch myself slipping. I know getting back to crossfit, when I can, will help and being around those positive supportive people and of course the exercise too. I guess ultimately it becomes a decision I have to make, but nothing like another little human to inspire you to be a better person. The nightmares of being a terrible, hurtful mom that kept me up all last night have taken their toll me. In with the good, out with the bad. Day 1 of trying to be better starts today.
Posted on: Sun, 21 Dec 2014 15:59:34 +0000
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