Here is what I said at the vigil It feels impossible that its been a year, because our world stopped that day- this day, one year ago. I still expect him to walk through the front door with his contagious joy. One year ago today , Teagan told me he loved me and he walked out the door. I didnt know that I would never again get to search for all of my pots and pans in his room because hed used them all for cereal bowls. I didnt know that Id never get to step in grated cheese all over my kitchen floor, every single day, from his nachos addiction. I didnt know that Id never again get shooshed whenever I tried to lecture or reprimand him or that I would never randomly get my nose booped again. I didnt know that I would never see him turn 17, or 18 in a just a few weeks. That I would never see him graduate from high school. Or go to college, or get married or have kids. I didnt know that Id never again hear his voice or his laugh, or see his crooked smile and mischievous blue eyes again and I didnt know I would never feel his arms around me in that big, warm Teagan hug. I didnt know. Teagan didnt know either. Teagan didnt know that November 12, 2013 , would be his last day here on earth, and yet the impact he made in this world in his too-short 16 years is immeasurable. Teagan wasnt a perfect kid by any means, and he knew how to use that smile, that charm to get out of trouble. He didnt love to do homework and he never remembered to clean up after himself in the kitchen. No, Teagan wasnt perfect, but he was amazing. He didnt invent a life saving vaccine or discover a new planet, but he was incredibly impactful to all that knew him. He was a prankster, a helper, a hugger, an expert photo bomber, a hard worker, an artist, a joker, a dreamer and a charmer. He was artistic, athletic, funny and smart. He was inclusive, and loving and relational and he truly loved helping other people. But he wasnt amazing because of any of those things. Teagan persevered through pain, through shame, through grief and through guilt. He worked through the hurt and the anger and he allowed himself to walk through the pain. He did the work and he changed, he dug deep and through faith and through Gods love for His precious child, he found joy again. Teagan had walked through his own darkness and pain, but God didnt allow him to walk alone. Teagan was surrounded by loving family and friends, people who loved on him and challenged him to work through it and showed they cared about him. He was truly impacted by the people that walked alongside him during his journey, so he understood that it is the people along your journey in life that truly matter. He chose everyday to be a light to others. Everyday, I daydream, wishing I had a super power, that I could use that power to go back in time to stop him from driving to school that morning or to have him leave later or something, anything to have him be here, alive with me today. I dont have a super power, but Teagan did and though it couldnt save him. It lives on in us. Teagan had the power of a beautiful heart. The incredible thing about the power of a beautiful heart, his beautiful heart, is that it inspires beauty in other hearts. Look at the legacy one 16 year old had in his short lifetime. He would love this. He would be so blessed and amazed to see how we are honoring his memory and carrying on his legacy with The Blue Heart Project. I hope that everyone takes on The Blue Heart Project and that they begin this tidal wave of kindness, love and serving others. Give more love and time than you think you can, and you will receive more than you ever thought possible. If you were to die tomorrow, how would you be remembered ? #whatisyourlegacy #myblueheart #rememberteagan Theblueheartproject Love Laura
Posted on: Wed, 12 Nov 2014 21:17:36 +0000
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