Heres a fun little experiment I love to pull on people. Whenever someone informs me that they found love, the very first thing I ask is what they hate the most about that person they love. This usually garners 3 responses; 1. Confusion, as in, they just told me they loved someone, why would you hate someone you love. 2. Denial, as in, they dont hate anything about this person, this person is perfect in everyway...nothing to hate. 3. Honesty, without hesitation, they confess the one or many negative attributes of this person. Believe it or not, this has been proven all my life, but people who answer with the first two responses are more than likely to break up with a person than a person who gives the third response. Thats the reality of the beast. But why? Heres why. Love is a powerful thing that involves ALL of the emotions a person can draw, which range from positive emotions to negative emotions. From happiness, to sadness, to contentedness, to comfort, and to even anger and sometimes rage. People who assume that love only involves positive emotions have no business getting into relationships the same way that people who cant manage their negative emotions properly in a relationship. Me, I can sit here and tell you what I hate about Bree, my sons, my mother, and my close friends. (Fun psychology lesson, the thing I hate the most about Garin, is the fact is that he is so much like me personality wise, marinate on that.) Anyway, I dont dwell on it, focus on it with great intent, and for the most part, I temper my disdain with moments of reflection and appreciation for what I love about them. In the end, I remind myself that if I didnt truly love these people, I wouldnt have the level of anger that I do at that moment. Every single person who thinks they are in love can easily list out all that they love about the person they love. However, a person who is truly in love can also list out what they hate about the person they love, and then list about how they have come to accept it and how they worked through these differences. That is love.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 19:08:51 +0000
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