Heres a new entry for Fix It Friday! BEFORE: It’s early June and Mary is back from Shanghai. She has a confidence and glow that I know had always been lurking underneath her, but for some reason or another had yet to show itself fully shown itself. Bright-eyed and enthusiastic, Mary tells me about climbing the Great Wall of China and the 3rd and 4th grades she taught English. I am proud because Mary never allowed the borders of New York City to confine her. Instead, she goes 7,000 miles away, having no friends and real knowledge of the Chinese culture so that when she returns to New York she be a more confident, determined, and overall better person. more determined and confident. As she goes on and on about China, I look at the unfaltering glimmer in her eye and say to myself, “This girl is going to be something special.” It had been nothing short of a pleasure for me being Mary supervisor as she’s as an ambassador for the Liberal Studies Program at NYU for the past two years. I’ve watched and listened in countless times as she’s spoke with New York, California, Chinese, Italian, you-name-I, parents and students about her struggles as a freshman in a big school, the lessons she learned in her Social Foundations class and how NYU had made her more independent and self-determined. AFTER: Mary is back from Shanghai. Bright-eyed and enthusiastic, Mary told me about climbing the Great Wall of China and teaching English to elementary school students. I am proud because Mary never allowed the borders of New York City to confine her. Instead, she went 7,000 miles away and returned to New York a more confident, determined, and overall better person. As she went on and on about China, I looked at the unfaltering glimmer in her eye and said to myself, “This girl is going to be something special.” It has been a pleasure being Mary’s supervisor for the past two years. As an ambassador at XYZ, I observed how Mary spoke with parents and students about her struggles as a freshman in a big school, the lessons she learned in her Social Foundations class, and how XYZ made her more independent and self-determined. --- The original wasnt bad, I just cleaned it up and made it more concise. Well, I hope this was helpful! If you want to submit a sentence or tip for Fix It Friday, please email contact@heretoedit by 5pm on Thursday. Have a nice weekend ^^.
Posted on: Fri, 18 Oct 2013 18:00:00 +0000
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