Heres my top 10 worst films of the year. I should also state that I did not see any of the Tyler Perry films released this year so thats why they are not on this list. 10. A Good Day To Die Hard - Lets just admit that the only good Die Hard film is the first one. As for the sequels, this one is probably the worst. Bruce Willis just seems to be sleep walking through the film and the actions scenes are ludicrous and not exciting at all. 9. Parker - It pains me to have to put a Jason Statham movie on my worst of list because Im a big fan of Mr. Statham but this film stinks! Its not Stathams fault. For some reason the makers of this film decided to crowbar a lame Jennifer Lopez romantic comedy into my Jason Statham revenge flick! If you want to see much better versions of this movie go watch the directors cut of Payback or Ringo Lams Full Contact. 8. Stoker - Chan Wook-Park is not the reason this movie has made my worst of list. He has made some great films (Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance, Oldboy, etc...) and he puts his all into this film. What undoes this film is the shitty script by Prison Break star Wentworth Miller. The whole reveal of Matthew Goodes secret was so anti-climactic that you just end up getting angry at how lame the twist is. This was my biggest disappointment of 2013 as I was really looking forward to this film. 7. The Counselor - This is basically novelist Cormack McCarthys attempt to write a more meaningful Tarantino movie and failing miserably. If you asked me to explain what happened in this film, I couldnt tell you. This had the most muddled storytelling of any movie I saw this year. 6. Gangster Squad - A lame, unexciting, wannabe The Untouchables rip off featuring an overacting Sean Penn. 5. Machete Kills - Just complete shit! Rodriguez just doesnt care to make real movies anymore. Now he seems to just want to make joke films. Well Robert, the joke isnt funny anymore. In fact, its pretty tiresome. The only part of the film I liked was Mel Gibson as he seems to know hes in a shit film but at least he seems to be having fun, unlike anybody who paid to watch this crap. 4. Texas Chainsaw 3-D - I know! Lets make Leatherface the hero of the film! It will be awesome!!! It wasnt. Just another shitty horror film in a long line of shitty horror film but this one is one of the shittiest. 3. Elysium - I really liked District 9 but Neil Blomkamps follow up is the very definition of a sophomore slump. An uninteresting class warfare story, a head scratching Jodie Foster performance, and some of the worst filmed action scenes of the year (yes, its more of that lame over edited, shaky cam action film making) make this one of the worst times you could spend in a theater this year. 2. White House Down - I almost made this my worst film of the year. Why? Because Jamie Foxx is basically playing Obama and the film turns Obama (one of the worst presidents ever!) into an action movie hero! This movie was made for lame ass Obama worshipers and no one else. As an action movie, it fails. The similar Olympus Has Fallen was a much better version of this movie (better and grittier action scenes) and didnt resort to jacking off to Obama. All I know is that if someone made a version of this film 8 years ago where George W. Bush was the hero of the film, there would have been rioting in the damn streets! Just because this film is (politically) one of the most moronic movies ever made, it still wasnt the worst. It was almost the worst. But I will admit that this movie tanking at the box office made me very happy. 1. Lords Of Salem - Was there any doubt that Rob Zombies shit fest wouldnt be number one? Ive gone over many times why this movie sucks so Im not going to go into details because there is a podcast where myself, Stuart Baulk, John Grace, & Hunter Duesing discuss why this movie is so damn horrid. I suggest you listen to it right here midnightmoviecowboys/2013/07/15/the-lords-of-salem-an-exercise-in-revilement/
Posted on: Thu, 02 Jan 2014 04:24:20 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015