Heroic Act of Self Care#150117 This 2 minute animation about the difference between EMPATHY & SYMPATHY caught my attention because empathy (or a lack of it) was a hot topic over the holidays. My dad put it this way, People who dont live stable lives like we do have no idea how devastated we are when they look out for themselves at our expense. We marvel at how the psychopaths who live among us -- people whose choices consistently show they dont care whether others are devastated -- have no shame. But people who lack empathy are actually loaded with shame, as Brene Brown defines it, and this insight brought a surprising connection to me: It’s GUILT these folks are lacking. In her 2013 RSA talk with Tim Lotte, she says, “Shame corrodes the part of us that believes we can change” and she differentiates shame from guilt as being “the point at which [we] give up believing [we] can make different choices.” Shame is what allows people to numb themselves to others pain, to convince themselves they didnt mean to hurt someone, that they had no choice and that its not their fault (it never is). In her 2011 “The Power of Vulnerability” TEDxHouston Talk, Brown shares her research on why FEELING GUILT INSTEAD OF SHAME is essential to summoning the courage to take ownership for what we do, and to have empathy for ourselves so we can have empathy for others. GUILT is saying to yourself, Ive done something that isnt consistent with my values and I feel sick about that. The sick feeling that comes with admitting weve done something wrong can cause us to change. Not a pleasant incentive, but much more effective than shaming ourselves. Guilt is a heart-breaking reminder that other behaviours were and, more importantly, STILL ARE open to us. That sick feeling opens us to all the other feelings, including the whole-hearted courage needed to truly do better next time. Let that sink in. Then decide WHAT you want to change, and WHY. RSA short https://youtube/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=1Evwgu369Jw Full talk with Brené Brown and Tim Lotte https://youtube/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=sXSjc-pbXk4 Related: Heroic Act of Self-Care #150104 featuring the 2011 TEDxHouston Talk on The Power of Vulnerability innerhero/fr_more150104.html
Posted on: Sun, 18 Jan 2015 21:22:52 +0000