Hey Miss Zane! First off, I love you & how you take the time to do this for your fans. Youre awesome ❤️ but to get to the issue... Im 26 years old. My boyfriend is 28. We lost a baby 3 years ago from early labor because I had preeclampsia. Right after we lost our baby, my mom had lost custody of my younger brothers. Im the oldest of 5. Anyways I was asked to take custody of my brother that was 11. The agreement in court was that I would have him for two years then my mom was supposed to be able to get my brothers back. Long story short she didnt get her shit together & now he is 14 & me & my boyfriend still have custody. We are expecting again :) everything with my pregnancy has been so much better than the first. The problem is my boyfriend wants me to give up custody of my brother. Miss Zane, I wont lie, it has been hard. My brother stays in trouble & is constantly being disrespectful. My boyfriend feels that he will cause me to lose the baby. I know Im taking on stress but we both knew how my brother was before I got pregnant. I just cant get rid of him even though I understand where my boyfriend is coming from. Its so hard to just throw him in foster care. At this point he wouldnt be able to be back with our mother, she has lost all rights. Me having my brother has caused so many problems between me & my boyfriend. We have so many plans on getting married & moving & going back to school to better our childs life but every time my brother comes up its a big fight because Im just not on turning my back on my family. I feel my brother needs me. He has no one else at this point but at the same time I dont want to lose my relationship with my childs father. We have been through so much together I just feel we can get through this as well... What should I do Miss Zane???? Sincerely, A confused mommy to be MY RESPONSE: You will have o make the final decision but I know, in my heart, that I could not give up my brother to foster care as long as it was humanly possible for me to take care of him. Life is full of challenges and in 3-4 years he will be ready to move on in his life to college, the military or working. He can actually start working now part-tme in most states. My son got his first job at 14 doing oil changes at a gas station. You need to keep him busy. Get him involved in sports or school activities.Get him into a boy scouts and a youth program in church. Make him volunteer on the weeked and star getting the service hourse he will need for graduation. Ask your boyfriend to become more of a mentor to him instead of making him feel unwanted. Find some free or cheap programs for him to join. Let him have some SELECT friends over from school. Bottom line, dont give up on him. He needs you.
Posted on: Wed, 14 Jan 2015 18:03:28 +0000
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