Hi Anak its been 27 Months since the Day you Left us without saying Goodbye and to Tell you honestly the Pain inside me is not getting any better.The only Difference now is that Id learned to Handle it and Hide it better than Before but nothing much has changed. In fact it is more getting Painful knowing that all I have is Cherish and Relive your Memories and Remember the Good and the Bad times we had. But if I have to compare the Good with the Bad,The Good outweighs those Bad Times and in fact there are More Laughters,Funny and Happy Moments. The Joy and Laughter you have given me since I gave Birth to you is Incomparable and Beyond Compare not knowing that it will all changed on that Fateful Day of Aug.12,2012 the Day I also died with you. I may seem Normal to everyone but no one knows whats going on here within me and Inside my Heart the Day you Left me without saying GOODBYE. I miss you here Anak,so much and all that I can do is Cry and ask God for more Strength and Courage. I miss your Laughter all around the House, your shrieking voice when youre teasing your siblings. I miss how you ran to and fro the stairs. I miss hearing your footsteps. I miss your voice shouting and calling me Mama!!!whenever you arrived home.I miss hearing you asking everyone Asan si Mama? every time you step inside the house which was the very first question you asked yaya or anyone ever since you were A Little Boy. I miss Shouting and Getting Frantic because youre Pissing me off. I miss hearing you singing to your Favorite Song of the Month. I miss you bugging me to buy your Duday gifts or asking me what to give her. I miss your late night playing Basketball in the Living Room and me going down and asking you to sleep, I miss seeing you at the Door and you asking me when I arrived if I have something for you or asking me if you have to carry something heavy that I cannot do myself. I miss you texting me everyday and saying I Love You Mama at the end of our convo. I miss you asking me to Take you to Iyahs house or asking me to fetch you from their House. But most of all I miss A Part of ME...and Thats YOU...If only I can ask God to Take me Instead of You,Believe me Son Id do, If only I can take the Hurt you had on that fateful night I would, If only I was There when that Beast attacked you,believe me Anak you will still be here today because I would gladly take your Place and I always do that to All of You and that is Protect you from Harm and from All Pain.And I would gladly take it because leaving me behind is much much more Painful than anyone could ever Imagine and The Lonely Nights are unbearable. But I will hold on Because I LOVE YOU. And I Promise you that I will make You Proud of Me. The only thing thats keeping me Going is Because of You and Your Siblings and The Faith in My Heart that I have to Be A Good and Better Person because One Day God will reward me if I am and the Promise that if I do Good and Be Good, we will be Together Again just Like the Old Times...I LOVE YOU JASON TO INFINITY AND BEYOND AND I PROMISE YOU ANAK I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN.PROMISE ME TOO THAT YOU WILL WAIT FOR ME AT HEAVENS GATE AND EMBRACE ME SO TIGHTLY AND WILL NEVER LET ME GO...YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART FOREVERMORE AND ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT THERE WAS NEVER A MOMENT IN A DAY THAT I DO NOT THINK OF YOU,MISS NA MISS NA KITA ANAK KO SOBRA...YOU AND YOUR SIBLINGS ARE MY WORLD AND MY LIFE AND NOW THAT YOU LEFT ME I WILL NEVER EVER BE COMPLETE AGAIN....PLEASE SAY A PRAYER FOR MY BEAUTIFUL BOY ON HIS 27 MONTHS IN HEAVEN...TILL WE MEET AGAIN MY FOREVER HERO
Posted on: Tue, 11 Nov 2014 16:17:31 +0000
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