Hi Everyone, I wanted to share a couple of photos of my dear friend and client; Beth Tegarden with you, as well as a few thoughts that have been on my mind in this posting, and the following one as well. Many of you, have never met or know Beth, and I felt you should see just how Beautiful and Loving Beth was on the inside, as well as what youll see on the outside in these 2 photos. Beth has been on my mind so much lately.... that its been hard to sleep, for her unfortunate ending at such a young age (49), is so sad, and heart breaking, that Im filled with so much emotion and feelings... and I know from past experiences, that the best way to deal with these feelings of grief, anger, and guilt..., is to talk about them and share your feelings with others. So you can Let Go, and Let It Out . Hopefully, allowing others to open up and talk about how this unfortunate event has effected them as well. So, if you have any feelings of rage, blame, fear of your own death... or about how fragile our own lives are, or whos going to be next. ~ I would like to invite you to use this forum to share whatever it is that might be eating at you as well.~ Talking and sharing your worries, obsessions, and fears openly with others, is the best way to deal with them. Being in denial, that it doesnt bother you, or exist, can keep you from the exact thing youre trying to hold on to: ENJOYING AND LIVING YOUR LIFE. I knew Beth was having bouts of depression and at times was emotionally unstable..., for she was having so much trouble and anxiety about anything she had to do on-line, with her phone, or formatting. So, since I wasnt able to give her the time she needed, I had 2 of my younger Abraxas peeps, Rowan and Lourdes both working and helping Beth to get everything current, updated, and back up on-line, as well as editing, cropping, and uploading her new photos. However, after awhile, it became difficult for both of them to give her all the time and explanations that she needed. During this frustrating transition of leaving the past behind and moving into the present. ~ We had several wonderful in-depth conversations via the phone, where we always seemed to end in laughter, about our inadequacies with all the new gadgetry and electronics. We also exchanged quite a few e-mails over the Holidays, and right up until the beginning of February. ~ This was a very emotional period for Beth, and she was needing a lot of reassurance, motivation and encouragement. However, I never took the next step, to take Beth to dinner, or for a walk..., for I was afraid that it would become too time consuming. Which was something unfortunately, that I didnt seem to have. I also didnt realize that February 11th was her Birthday, and I never sent Beth a card or wished her Happy Birthday, and that was the day her life ended. So yes, I feel guilty that I didnt go out of my way to be with Beth, when she apparently needed someone to extend a hand, and take the time to just be with her, to make her see how beautiful she really is, and to let her know shes loved. When now in retrospect.... Thats what she so desperately needed, so that she could have the strength and will, to overcome whatever was ailing her. I know that its important for me not to feel responsible for her death, to blame myself, or to think that I could have changed whatever happened. Still, its a reminder to me, to always find the time, when you know a friend really needs some loving. It might not change whatever is going to happen. But it will put a smile on their face, some love in their heart, and a warm hug to comfort their pain, and that will stay with them for some time to come. No matter what eventually will happen..., Theyll be able to take those precious few moments of happiness and love with them. Beth really was a lovely, warm, beautiful individual, who was desperately trying to be positive, and to get her life back on track, but she kept running into so many roadblocks... Wished I could of helped her more... Beth, I Miss You, I Love You, and A Piece of My Heart is With You. Much Love, Gerry
Posted on: Wed, 26 Mar 2014 14:16:17 +0000
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