Hi Queenslanders, Just a short note to let you know that Ill be taking more of your tax payers money home in my pay packet. Its great to know that an independent tribunal that I appointed has given me more take home pay. It affirms to me that Queenslanders wake up happy every day with this governments performance of 6.1% unemployment, the destruction of public hospitals, publicly running down the economy and non-investment in critical infrastructure but investment in turf clubs (we all need more grass). Our introduction of draconian laws that breach international humanitarian conventions show we perform best when we imprison Queenslanders in solitary confinement for extended periods of time. We can assure you that we have no idea of the separation of powers and nor should we, were a government, our job is to keep you safe from separating powers. We believe in family unity and wont have any of this nasty separation of husbands and wives. I can only say thank you to my fellow Queenslanders for increasing my wages. It lets me know that youre ok with, and want the States assets that you built with your tax dollars, sold off at bargain basement prices to my mates who donate to the LNP. You still get to use those assets but with reduced efficiency, higher user charges and a guaranteed level of incompetency based on profit margins. Im so glad Im getting more of your money and I intend to keep my promise to sell off this state to mining interests and to consistently and persistently destroy the environment in the interests of unsustainable short term revenue raising ventures. If all goes to plan, youll be paying me to ensure your children are educated in company owned schools fully equipped with benches, chalk and slates - computers are after all the instrument of the devil. All of our teachers and public servants will work longer hours for less pay after Ive modernised their awards and made them swear allegiance to their vassal Lords and Knights of the realm - then Ill sack them anyway and take their wages home in my pocket too. My hip pocket trembles with delight knowing that you want me to reduce TAFE funding and give my friends who are in competition with TAFE a big hit of funding - why just the other day my friend Tony Abbott said that the days of government giving money to private companies was over, but we do things differently in Queensland - of course we do, its what you pay me to do. Ultimately, well sell TAFE to rid you of the burden of having an education and to save you from having to pay exorbitant prices to study with TAFE. See how we care. Thanks for listening Queenslanders -- Lisa and I are off to buy some caviar and a Ferrari or two. Oh wait she tells me she wants two Porsches. The Right Honourable, (much richer) Sir Shambles Newman. Love you Queensland.
Posted on: Fri, 28 Mar 2014 22:58:18 +0000
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