Hi Zane Im a huge fan and Im very fond of your Facebook page..I would appreciate it if you kept me anonymous but I would like feedback. So here goes, Im 20 years old and ill be 21 this year. Im engaged to my fiance weve been together for a little over two years but it seems like much longer. I an currently pregnant with my baby girl and Im due in march. I love my fiance, hes usually good to me, he cares for me, and he says he loves me more than I can know..my issue is that it seems like ever since I became pregnant something in him changed like he became more distant and started to go and hang out with his friends more and began to act irresponsible with his money. We argue over small things a lot more now and hes not much help in getting prepared for our baby. And the thing is hes the one that was really excited about having a baby in the beginning because he said he was ready to be a father since he was around the age of 16 or so (hes 21 now going on 22). Weve had plenty of talks about it and he says hes just stressed and worried about if hell be a good dad and if hell be able to take care of us like he wants to, and ive heard a saying that a man doesnt really become a father until he holds his child. Hes been supportive and everything but I feel like ive been doing everything myself as far as getting prepared and becoming responsible for our little bundle. I see that he tries sometimes but sometimes I ask myself is it enough? Right now were staying at his mothers house with his brother and sisters and Im definately not happy here because his sisters are ignorant and his older one just had a baby last year herself, and we share a room with his brother who comes and goes. There is literally no room for another baby and I dont wabt to bring my baby in this house and the environment here. My parents live in NC and VA (as of september) so Im basically here alone and Im going through my options as to what Im gonna do but my job has cut my hours to only two days a week and I cant physically work more than one job. I want to go back to school soon but I dont know if I can handle a lot of the stress of life feeling depressed and alone andI feel like I shouldnt have to. My best friend and my sister say i should leave him because he doesnt seem like hes stepping up to the plate and taking care of us and providing for me emotionally. Im to the point where I feel like giving up on our relationship but at the same time I feel like a good relationship has its ups and downs and you have to get through it all in order to make it. Im sorry this was so long but what should I do?? P.s. Im gonna do watever it takes to take care of my baby no matter what. -Concerned Fiance MY RESPONSE: I would not leave and go move to another state. The two of you are engaged and decided to have a child, or got pregnant and decided to have one. You are right that relationships have ups and downs. In retrospect, it would have been better to wait on having a child until you were married and in your own place. Cutting and running is not going to solve anything and the position you are in now does not have to be the position your are in this same time next year. You have to look at the bright side. You are not homeless, he has agreed to marry you, and both of you are dealing with stress. Having a baby and making a life together is more than just a notion. You will be fine and one day look back at these circumstances as a growing curve. Couples have been down in much deeper trenches together. Good luck.
Posted on: Sat, 25 Jan 2014 04:01:58 +0000
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