Hi friends, I am trying to repair the relationship with my mom, and this coming Christmas I am going to see her in person and have a conversation with her about some insights I gained while in Peru last September. The gist of the problem is that there was always a cold war between my parents prior to their divorse when I was 16. As a child, I inadvertently learned to imitate their behavioral patterns, not to trust anyone, to be afraid, to respond to my moms fears and desires with suppressed anger and irritation, and to live in a very shut-down mode. While in Peru, I realized it could not go on this way and I had to open my heart to mom and to try to restore the flow of love between us. I have already expressed a lot of it to her in the emails that we have exchanged since last September and have given her some pointings about how one can shift energy from the mind to the heart using meditation, yoga, etc., gave her some excerpts from Osho to read so that she might begin to realize that there is something bigger to all of us than just the body and the mind. Soon I am going to have some in-person conversations with her, and I know that the question about the details of my shamanic experiences will come up. Now, she is a person who has been living in fear and poverty every day of her life, and I know that the mention of a psychedelic substance-containing medicine will pour oil on the constantly burning flame of her fear. So I am facing a dilemma here: on the one hand, I need to open my heart to her and be open with her. On the other hand, complete openness may bring about even greater fear and emotional isolation. I probably wouldt be as concerned about the subject if I lived in the US, but I live in Belarus - a very restrictive society, not quite as restrictive as North Korea, but more restrictive than Russia, so any type of mind expansion is extremely stigmatized and severely penalized here, and people are conditioned to be extremely afraid of such practices. So Ive been thinking about it all night and came to the conclusion that Id better not mention ayahuasca to my mom as she is not prepared and will panic. But I dont want to lie to her either, so I will probably tell her that the shaman uses ancient shamanic techniques to put people in an altered state of consciousness so as to enable them to revisit traumatic life experiences, to identify the incidents that have led to the derailment of ones life, and to work on untangling those knots. She will probably ask me what substances he gave me, and I will reply that those were alternative medicinal plants whose names should not be shared with the uninitiated. What do you think about it? Have any of you faced similar dilemmas with your loved ones?
Posted on: Sun, 21 Dec 2014 05:26:51 +0000
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