Home with the flu musings: I was talking with a friend recently about noticing the motivation behind certain actions we take, especially our self care actions. The inquiry is: Is this truly out of self care/love, or am I resisting something I dont want to experience/fear? Am I doing this thing (taking these vitamins, exercising, resting, doing my taxes, sending out holiday cards, even posting on FB, etc) as a way to avoid something (getting sick, losing something or someone, feeling that I dont have/am not enough, feeling the pain of the world?) I discovered in myself a subtle orientation to life that said, Avoid negative experiences; dont let bad things happen. Bracing against life, rather than moving toward or simply with it. I also see clearly that this approach never fills me up or helps me get truly healthy, nourished, happy. The resistance blocks the good stuff from filling in. So when I contracted the flu last night, I started practicing diligently - noticing when my attitude and thoughts were saying, Im gonna kick this thing, or poor me, so I could avoid undesirable consequences (canceling clients, feeling pain, even worrying that people will think Im weak because Im sick.) I started saying to myself, I love you, I love you, I love you (even when it felt weird. It gets easier the more we/I do it.) Im going to make the most of this. Im going to let the fever clean me out. Im going to take supplements and rest and smile, and cry if I need to (sometimes that helps the body aches.) There is nothing to resist here. This is what is happening, and instead of fighting it and potentially dragging it out longer, Im going to move through it rather easily. This eucalyptus oil and elderberry syrup and salt gargle are here to help me live. Thanks! Health and vitality and peace and creativity are available to me, and I choose to move towards Beauty and aliveness, through the ache and fever, almost happily, moment by moment.
Posted on: Mon, 08 Dec 2014 18:16:38 +0000
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