Honestly, this year has been so hectic to me! Many times Ive tried or wanted to commit suicide in this year due to stress, depression, rejection (to myself) and losing hope! At some point I thought that Im of no importance in this sick sad world! I hated myself, I cried a lot but never showed my feelings and the pain I was going through up to anyone but myself coz I though that no one could understand me but myself (honestly I didnt even understand myself sometimes) I though the world as a very small crowded place with lots of noises and confusion and I just wanted to be alone somewhere out there in space or whatever! In short, I was this close to end it all! But I didnt! I couldnt! One thing kept on holding me back! Our family! I just kept on thinking how will my parents react?! How will my dad feel?! I guess hell be in total agony due to the way he loves and cares for me! What about my mom?! How will she handle that pain?! What about my siblings who adores me the most and lastly what about some close friends?! Honestly, i realize that it was kinda selfish to commit or think of suicide. I know many people may agree to that but youve no idea how tempting that force can be and how helpless it leaves you! But all in all, God is good! And I thank him coz here I am, about to reach 22 years of my journey here on earth, and just about to finish this year which has been nothing but chaotic but a blessing in one way coz it brought someone really special in my life!! I thank God for the strength and Im looking forward for an amazing year of 2015. This time Im gonna make it right by allowing God to lead my way and I promise to follow him every single step! Oh, and I allow him to correct me when I go wrong!! All in all I would like to thank all of my special and close friends here for your positive support and love!! I love yall and I pray for God to bless you all abundantly!! God bless you all! Kisses & hugs!!! DAVID LIVINGSTONE.
Posted on: Wed, 17 Dec 2014 07:02:07 +0000
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