Hope you dont mind me updating again. I get more time 1 day than others, hope you appreciate with 4 daughters under my belt on school holidays it can be difficult, but I had such a massive response to this mornings post, on Right/Wrong feelings & emotions Again sharing my feelings with you has not failed to reassure me, THANK YOU. Another long status im afraid, but I feel the need to type this out, its the only place I have to share these things, we have no family and friends are far to busy with their own to deal with this, it feels risky sharing such emotions knowing my neighbours/friends/community read this but if I didnt do this then this diary wouldnt be a honest place for me to be, so would be pointless. I have read time after time about the emotional damage having a premature baby can cause, and wow its all true, me trying to put a brave face on things, trying to be strong - which I am but still get so upset thinking back on things, feeling rubbish if I dare admit weakness. Why has this all caught up on me? why did I manage the situation better in NICU/SCBU? I do not struggle to cope with the children at all (i want to make that clear) but I now find coping with the aftermath a bit strange? After everything I didnt even know there would be a aftermath? where did it come from? thinking things through, from the struggle in the ambulance on my way to ERI to make the midwife believe my contractions was real - I really was having this baby at 24 weeks then seeing the look on her face and hearing her orders to the driver to get us there ASAP (After discussing what she had had for tea/done to her hair & quizzing the paramedic about driving rules?) instead of comforting and reassuring myself. That whole night was only a thing people have nightmares about , knowing your going to deliver this baby so soon but not been heard. Then the journey really began, heck where do I start? where do I end? This whole thing has taken over my life, will it ease? does time erase those memories? I guess what im asking is will I ever recover? Still so many questions, so much I dont know..... This is why Emilys Journey means so much to me Claire XXXXXX
Posted on: Thu, 31 Jul 2014 14:33:37 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015