How could I not know???? So today I did not work out, I am still processing the injury and figuring out which way is best to proceed. As I mentioned, my running plan will remain the same – except the running will now be swimming or rowing. I will strength train and look cut again. A nice side benefit of more time to lift weights. I have nailed down a pool I can use, I have one in my back yard but, I am pretty sure doing flip turns every 5 strokes is doing to get old fast. So, off to the Aquatic Center I go. The pieces are in place and tomorrow morning I begin the detour that will get me thru the injury and back to running. I can’t say that I am sad about not running for a bit, I am between races after all and I think my brain (almost as much as my body) could use the break. There is however one tiny thing niggling away at the back of my brain “how did I not know how bad it was!” How did I, the running coach, not realized just how much I was hurting myself! Yes, I saw several doctors; yes, I taped; yes, I pulled up on miles and ab work…I had tests, lots of them, MRI – ultra sound – blood- urine – x-ray….hours in offices. Hours of being relived the pain wasn’t a cyst, appendicitis, infection or worse – cancer. Yes, after 5 months of discomfort, my brain went there. How could it not, persistent and ongoing pain that no one can figure out, brings fear and the what ifs! When the second of four doctors said “it’s a tear!” I went with it – I had lived a moment where a fall after being twisted up in my dogs leash would explain the tear – so yep, I did the rehab for a tear. And it got better for a bit, but then it got worse….much worse. I watched my half marathon times fall from 1:44 to 1:56 in a matter of 5 months, with the same training. I watched my long runs slow and then stop altogether. I saw myself shying away from my favorite strength classes, opting to strength train on my own – for fear of pain! Fear was starting to eat the motivation that I have always had. I became so tired of hurting that it was easier to just toss in the white flag then fight. For a long while, I tried to fight it, I ran the races – I kept trying but, it was taking a toll on me because the efforts were halfhearted at best. So, last week I finally had, had enough. I braved the chiropractor and he saved me. He knew what was wrong and he knew how to make it better! He is my HERO! But, despite the joy of finally knowing and the excitement over new and creative workouts….I am still trying to silence the question, “how did you not know?” I think it is bothering me because I see injuries in others and I urge them to get it checked, or rest, or pull up. Together we draw the line between serious injury and the normal pains of being a runner…and then we make a plan. But, somehow I missed doing the same for myself. I even question if I am the right coach for an athlete if they have too many injuries, big or small. But, yet I don’t question how I train myself???? I do alter and modify my training to meet goals but, somehow I missed this one! I missed that I had an injury this significant. I ran thru it, around it and right smack into it. I first felt it hit last fall and it took on a life of its own at the Holiday Half this past December. I am so blessed that I was able to complete my season and rest during my off season. So, the running gods are smiling on me in that respect I suppose. Why am I telling you all of this – well, I am not sure. Maybe to tell you that if you know something is wrong and you can’t get the answer – don’t give up. To let you know that even 13 years of running experience and a certification don’t make you immune to injury and down time. On the flip side, I am also gaining another experience that will make me a better coach, a better runner and a stronger person. So – where there is negative, there is always positive. I went with a diagnosis I wanted to believe but, knew in my heart it was wrong. Now, I have the real one and can move forward. I will come to terms with the questions I keep asking myself but, never again will I just accept what a doctor says when I know deep down inside, they are wrong. And you shouldn’t either. Fight for your running self, it will be the gift you give yourself – the gift of running into old age and being healthy for a lifetime. Run on Friends. Coach Jackie
Posted on: Sat, 17 May 2014 05:04:41 +0000
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