How do companies KILL a LION ??? Cognizant Method:� hire a lion� ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to�do.� give him 65 gobi�to eat again and again.� hire 100 more lions but�do�not increase the space to sit� however give them the same amount� 65 gobi�to eat� hire 200 more��. and more ��.� TCS Method:� hire a lion� give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary� lion dies of hunger and frustration� IBM�s method:� hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour �� he dies of unemployment�� Syntel Method:-� Hire a Cat �� assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and� make sure that he never reaches onsite.� Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion�.� MBT Method:� hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn�t score 60% he will lose the job.� lion dies of the strain?� i-Flex Method:� hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari� for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes� alive he will get band movement (promotion)� holy cow dies in fear of the real lion� COSL Method:� hire a lion .� tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance�� lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat�.� Polaris Method :� hire ..sorry�.purchase a lion(COSL) ..� change his timings�(instead of 9 AM �change it to 8:30 AM )� cut down his allowance (coupons etc)� lion dies from fear of becoming CAT�..� Capgemini Method:� hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat�� the lion dies before joining�.� Wipro Method:� Hire a Lion,� give him a mail Id.� he will die recieving stupid mails all day��..!!!!� HUAWEI�Method:� Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion�� Give him work of 3 Lions� Tell him to work late and even on weekends�� No time for food and family, automatically die Accenture Method:� Hire a lion�. Take his CAMS assignment 2 times a year followed by Performance appraisals. Ask him for lots of My Leanings on line � Send him to Chennai/HYD/BLG;but yes�don�t give him/her his/her home town. Ask him to stay on bench for a long time or Give him/her projects . No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls Only Attitude of HR girls.� And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".� Lion dies in confusion iif he is aTiger or lion�� THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST� � � INFOSYS Method:� HIRE A LION�..� SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE� �����������������.KING OF THE JUNGLE!�J� MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPREE EXAM� ���������������LION TURNS INTO CAT� MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM� �����������������CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE� SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO�DO�WID HE LEARNED IN TRNG� ��������������.MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!!� SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS� ����������������.MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE��:-) � �This is�how�software engineers die in India.
Posted on: Tue, 24 Sep 2013 13:52:34 +0000
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