How to Be Optimistic Edited by Krystle C., Ben Rubenstein, Brigitta M., Joshua Uebergang and 136 others While being skeptical can be a healthy way to avoid getting taken advantage of, being pessimistic - that is, always assuming the worst - can have major negative consequences on your life. Seeing only the negative aspects of any situation can cause you to miss opportunities, neglect problems that need to be solved, and fail to take action that would otherwise improve your relationships and quality of life. In fact, studies show that pessimists are more likely to develop chronic illnesses later on in life than optimists.[1] Optimists look for the light at the end of the tunnel. If youve always had a pessimistic worldview, it can be difficult to shift your focus, but it is possible to start seeing the glass as half full, not half empty. In fact you may come to realize that glasses are generally full - its just that gravity attracts the more dense liquid material towards the bottom. 1 Let go of the assumption that the world is against you, or that you were born with a gray cloud over your head. It is an assumption that has no basis in reason or science. Sometimes we pick up a flair for pessimism from a parent who made negative assumptions about the world somewhere along the line. Either way, the sooner you can attribute your pessimism to a unique set of circumstances rather than the state of the world itself, the easier itll be to change your perspective. 2 Understand that the past does not equal the future. Just because youve experienced pain or disappointment in the past it does not mean that what starts badly will end badly. Do not make a bad start turn into a self fulfilling prophecy for a bad ending. 3 See yourself as a cause, not an effect. You dont have to be a product or a victim of your circumstances. Stop thinking about what is happening to you and start thinking about what you can make happen. If youre not happy with the way your life is now, set goals and move on. Use your past negative experiences to build character and make better decisions. Life involves taking many risks every day, and not all of them will end positively. Thats what defines risk. But the flip side is that some actions will lead to good results, and its generally better to have a mixed bag than to have nothing at all. Ideally, the good stuff will outweigh the bad, but youll never reach that point unless you put yourself out there and hope. 4 Use positive affirmations. Write down short statements that remind you of what youre trying to change about the way you see the world. Put them in places where youll see them every day, such as on your bathroom mirror, the inside of your locker, on your computer monitor, and even taped to your shower wall. Some affirmations to start with are: Anything is possible. My circumstances do not create me, I create my circumstances. The only thing I can control is my attitude towards life. I always have a choice. I choose to live my positive side of life. 5 Remember that life is short. When you feel pessimism clouding your judgment or you start to feel down about the future, remind yourself that every minute counts. Any time spent brooding guarantees nothing but less time to enjoy whatever life might have to offer. At its core, pessimism is impractical because it causes you to spend time dwelling on things that havent happened yet and arent guaranteed to happen. It also prevents you from getting things done. Pessimism breeds indecision. Its a waste of time, and time is a limited resource that you cant afford to take for granted. 6 Be a balanced optimist. Nobody is suggesting that you become an oblivious Pollyanna, pretending that nothing bad can or ever will happen. Doing so can lead to poor decisions and invites people to take advantage of you. Instead, be a rational optimist who takes the good with the bad, in hopes of the good ultimately outweighing the bad, and with the understanding that being pessimistic about everything accomplishes nothing. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best - the former makes you sensible, and the latter makes you an optimist. Being an optimist is not the same as being an extrovert. You dont have to be an extrovert to be an optimist. Tips: Do not worry about the past or future. Remember that the past is history, the future is a mystery, and that today is a gift... that is why its called the present! Pass a blessing on to a friend or stranger, let somebody have that parking space, let somebody in front of you in line at the market. Doing nice things for others is an instant pick-me-up. Do not be idle. The saying is true that empty mind is devils workshop. Listen to music, play with pets, visit friends or relatives, read books, comics, chat with a friend, cook, go window shopping...the list is endless. Count your blessings, each and every little one. Focusing on the good things in your life, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, will help frame a better attitude and take your mind off of the negatives. When you feel stressed or upset, take two slow, deep breathes without tensing your neck our shoulders. Deep breath from your belly like babies do when they sleep. Learn to be happy and share love with your close friends. Dont make every situation into something that ends badly or is not going to have a good outcome. That is definitely one way to lose friends and push away family, while straining your life. Smiling is better than frowning, so show them those pearly whites! Practice by conveying these ideas to others. If you hear someone being pessimistic, counsel them based on these steps. Sometimes its easier to understand a perspective if you explain it to someone else first. Look happy. Studies have shown that putting a cheerful smile on your face can actually make you feel happier and more optimistic about the present and future.[2] They can also get you more return smiles than a frown. Have you ever heard of the expression, Honey catches more flies than vinegar? Its actually true. Being kind and caring actually gets you happier than being sour. Warnings: Realize that its not about what happens to you, its about how you react to what happens. Everyone has their times of weakness. You may stumble at times and go back into bad habits but remember past feelings of optimism and remind yourself that that feeling is in reach. Never give up and gradually you will succeed. While it is true that you create your own circumstances, accept that the past is the past. Dont let negative circumstances trigger irrational guilt or pessimism. Dont confuse pessimism with depression. Depression can make everything look worse than it is. Avoid cynical/pessimistic entertainment. You are what you watch.
Posted on: Fri, 24 Jan 2014 12:29:08 +0000
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