How to Have a Healthy Relationship Sometimes relationships can seem like a lot of work until you sit back and realize just how much youve been given. A thriving, healthy relationship is absolutely within your reach if you and your partner are willing to do a bit of work. Heres how to start nurturing your bond. Part One: Things You Must Do Independently Take responsibility for your own happiness .Save yourself several hours of arguing by remembering this one rule: its not up to anyone else to make you happy. Make good on your words . Follow through on your promises. When you say youre going to do something, do it. Dont say that youll cook dinner, or get a birthday present, and then blow it off or simply forget about it. What this does is systematically destroy trust. And relationships need trust in order to thrive. Admit your mistakes. If you know youve done something to hurt your partner, intentionally or not, own up to it. Humble yourself and apologize sincerely, without making excuses or justifications like Im sorry you made me angry. Commit to changing your behavior. If you notice yourself apologizing for the same mistake over and over, step it up a level. Tell your partner that you recognize this mistake keeps happening, and you want to train yourself to stop. Request help and ask for him or her to gently point it out to you when youre making this mistake again. Be realistic. Every relationship has disagreements and days when staying isnt the easiest choice. But what makes a relationship healthy is choosing to resolve those problems and push through the hard days, instead of just letting issues and resentment fester. Review your expectations. Do you see your partner as a person, with both winning qualities and flaws, or as someone you expect to be perfect? If your expectations are so astronomical that no one could live up to them 100% of the time, youre setting up your relationship for failure. Accept that conflict happens. If you expect to be in a long-term relationship, youre bound to have the occasional disagreement. Remember that one argument isnt the end of everything, and theres no person on earth that youd agree with all the time. Always ask yourself whether youre better off in the relationship than out of it. If you dont think youre better off in the relationship, then you probably should have a serious discussion with your partner. In a loving relationship, this question almost always gets a simple Yes. Listen to your partner. Sometimes, all your partner wants is for you to lend an ear and be sympathetic about one of their problems. Other times, your partner wants you to actively give them advice. Know which one your partner is looking for, and try to give them what they want. Being a good listener is all about paying attention to what theyre saying and not blowing it off. Listening to your partner will enhance your relationship in many ways. It will help you resolve differences without arguing; let you explore each others personality more deeply; and even help you pick out an awesome Christmas present. There are no downsides to listening. Show your affection in whatever way you can . Theres a difference between knowing that youre loved and feeling that youre loved. Sometimes, we bank on the fact that our partners should know that we love them even when we dont show it. Dont rely on this too much. The best relationships use affection to show love. Do something for your partner that you know s/he will truly appreciate. Whether it means getting up early to mow the lawn, taking the kids to karate, or baking that nutella shortcake, its often the little favors that say the most. Dont be afraid to show physical affection every once in a while. Loving relationships feed off of the little kisses, hugs, and back-rubs that are mainstays of affection. Do the unexpected. Its one thing to kiss your partner after you come home from work; its another thing to kiss your wife while youre skydiving, falling 10,000 feet from a plane. Its the thought that counts, so put a little effort into it for huge returns. Be loyal. Make sure he/ she knows that you will always be there for him/her. Put him/her first in your life as much as you possibly can. Not that you have to only see him/her ever, or never talk to anyone else, but he/ she should know that he/she can always count on you if he/she needs something. Also, expect the same loyalty from him/her. You deserve to feel prized in the relationship just as much as him/her. Do not ever hide anything from him/ her . Especially your feelings about him/her and your relationship - whether good or bad! This way you will be able
Posted on: Sun, 27 Oct 2013 12:53:43 +0000
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