Huntsman spider strikes back . So i took position at work for my morning bowel movement at the usual time slot of 7:18 am . Flipped open the cover on my phone to catch up on all the facebook goss and proceeded to poo . It was as if it were a planned attack . A very large Huntsman spider came speeding toward me from under the cubical door at break neck speed , his legs flailing around like the wheels of an out of control locomotive !!! I couldnt work out if it was desperately running from something , or charging in like a bull to a matador ? I was not planning on hanging around to find out !!! The trouble was i was already mid poo , and i reckon at least three centemetres dialated .... A friend of mine recently had a very similar incident with one of these monsters , so i was quite aware of the beasts capabilities . I lifted both my feet off the ground to put as much distance between me and my attacker as possible !! My plan was to at least deal with this half birthed poo then jump over the cubicle wall and commando roll to freedom . Well that plan went straight out the window when i noticed this eight legged killing machine scurry over my work boot then start racing up my leg !!!! It had a look in its eyes that meant business ( i have seen this look from my ex wife ) it was not safe for me to be here . I had to run ! I cant quite remember the next few seconds as i was so overcome by fear . I just remember coming to my sences outside the entire cubicle holding the door shut with all my might , with a throbbing head where i obviously ran straight into a wall , or tripped over my pants trying to escape . Realising that this killer was safely trapped inside the toilet block , i let go of the door , pulled up my pants and went back to my work station feeling battered , confused , and shaken . I had more questions than answers . How long do huntsman spiders live for ? How did it get in ? and if it got in surely it could get out . What if i really have to finish this poo ? Should i set fire to the cubicle and make it look like an accident ? Could this be the reincanation of the very same spider that attacked you Kevin Smith ????
Posted on: Mon, 07 Apr 2014 23:53:53 +0000
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