Hurting you isnt something narcissists do by accident Kathy Krajco What Makes Narcissists Tick Mon, 02 Jul 2007 07:05 CDTPrint In all the jabber about narcissism, the worst noise is this idea that hurting you is something narcissists do by accident. If you get nothing else out of What Makes Narcissists Tick, get the message that frees you of that ridiculous belief. Which is nothing but a baseless assumption. I dont ask you to take my word for this. Test what I say when I say that narcissists hurt you on purpose. Anyone can test any narcissist. Echo and Narcissus ©Walker Art Gallery, Liverpool Echo and Narcissus, by John William Waterhouse Heres how. The next time the narcissist is hurting your feelings or making you feel low, let your feelings show and tell him or her how they are making you feel asking them to stop it. Be prepared for a shock. Any normal human being would soften and let up, but a narcissist will do exactly the opposite. What does that mean? Is revving up their engines, kicking in the afterburners, and running you right over an accident after you show your soft underbelly and beg them to let up on you? Its no accident, thats for sure. Want to see a narcissistic rage? Thats no accident either. The test: Just fall to your knees in tears begging them to have a heart and stop kicking you around like dirt. The narcissists response? He or she blows up into a rage. Is that rage an accident when nothing but how deeply they are hurting you provokes it? No, its a willful and wanton outrage. Now hear this: THEY DONT DO IT BY ACCIDENT. They arent just inconsiderate and touchy. Test their touchiness (if you can do so safely, or have somebody not at the Ns mercy test it - someone who can defend themselves). Rage right back in their face. Act just as wild right back in their face. Threaten right back. Speak abusively right back. Now any normal person would be provoked to rage by your doing this in their face. But narcissists are so UNtouchy that they do the opposite. Watch how instantaneously the raging narcissist becomes meek and mild and switches to his I-wouldnt-hurt-a-fly-mask. Dont take my word for it. Test it. You CANNOT insult a narcissist who isnt in a position to bully you! Its impossible. Try it, youll see. Your lack of vulnerability gives them skin a foot thick! (Not to mention a rubber spine.) Touchy my you-know-what. They arent touchy at all. So perceived slights arent what set them off. The VULNERABILITY of a TARGET OF OPPORTUNITY is what sets them off - IF there are no witnesses. Thats predation, not touchiness. Narcissists arent inconsiderate of your feelings. To the contrary, they are extremely considerate of your feelings. Your feelings are exactly what they are trying to affect. They closely observe how you react every time they do something to hurt you. And they are like sharks, able to smell a drop of blood a mile away. Why? Because your hurt feelings are their pain killing drug. They are addicted to it. Ever since childhood. Thats what their mental illness is, an addiction. (In fact, all addictions are classed as mental illness.) So where do people get the stupid idea that narcissists arent to blame for what they do? Its asinine to think that narcissists cant control themselves when we see them controlling themselves perfectly whenever witnesses are present. So, what? being behind closed doors makes them suddenly out of control of themselves? Baloney. Their problem isnt lack of self control; its lack of conscience. Conscience is what makes people behave the same in the dark as in the light of day. Okay, they have an addiction to trampling people. They are hooked on the childish high they get from throwing somebody down, stepping on the victims back, and thumping their chest with a Tarzan yell. But since when does an addiction amount to a carte blanche? An addiction is just a TEMPTATION. It doesnt remove the addicts responsibility to resist that temptation. If a heroin addict sees you with heroin, he will attack and may kill you for it - IF there are no witnesses present. But do we absolve him of his responsibility for the crime just because hes addicted to heroin? Of course not. Same with the narcissist. Since childhood he has done this mind-altering drug of abusing people and is addicted to it. He addicted himself. Yet addicted as he is, he demonstrates the ability to control himself by behaving whenever witnesses are present, misbehaving only when he thinks he can get away with it. Innocence that is not. He does what he does because nothing but getting his drug matters to him. So he has no conscience. He lives to get it, whenever he can get away with it. So, hurting others isnt something narcissists do by accident. Its how they live. The victims of narcissists must understand this. They must quit falling for the masks predation conceals itself behind. I dont care how much the poor, little, ole narcissist whines that he didnt mean to, and claims that he has an excuse because HIS feelings were somehow hurt, and weeps about what a miserable childhood he had and how sad and forlorn hell be if you go away, and all that crap. Its a joke. Painful as this is to admit, the victims of narcissists MUST understand it. Its the bottom line. It predicates your choices. Dont take my word for it: test and see. 2 + 2 = 4. Always. Even on Thursdays. Comment: If you can relate to the topic discussed in this article - and suspect that somebody in your life is trying to manipulate you in similar ways, there is help. First, however, it is your responsibility to become informed - heres a good start: Narcissism Victim Syndrome - a new diagnosis? Sott.net.
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 22:51:48 +0000
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015