I AM CANADIAN (clears throat) Hey... Im not a lumberjack, or a fur trader... and I dont live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled... and I dont know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, although Im certain theyre really, really nice. I have a Prime Minister, not a President. I speak English and French, NOT American. and I pronounce it about, not a boot. I can proudly sew my countrys flag on my backpack. I believe in peace keeping, not policing. diversity, not assimilation, and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal. A toque IS a hat, a chesterfield IS a couch, and it is pronounced zed not zee, zed!!! Canada is the second largest landmass! the FIRST nation of hockey! And the BEST part of North America! My name is Squiffy!! AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!! (the Canadian one is actually a commercial and is all true!) I AM ITALIAN Ciao... Im not a construction worker, a brick layer or a school janitor. I dont live in a basement, or eat pasta every night. And I dont drive a Camaro. And I dont know Tony, Rocco or Gino from Woodbridge, Although Im certain theyre very very hairy people. I drink wine...not beer. I dont use utensils for pizza. I believe in open bars at weddings, not cash. And its pronounced ESPRESSO, not EX-PRESSO. I can proudly fly my countrys flag out of my car during the worldcup. Gelato IS ice cream, Biscotti ARE cookies, Pavarotti IS the best of the three tenors, And its Broo-SKetta, not Broo-SHetta!! Italy is the ONLY country shaped like footwear, The FIRST nation of soccer, And the BEST part of Europe!! My name is Guiseppe !!! AND I AM ITALIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM PAKISTANI Allo, Im not a cab driver, a 7-11 clerk or a gas attendant. I DONT go to fleamarkets, or worship elephants, or eat with my hands. And I DONT know Akbar, Rampreet or Mohammed from Rundle, Although Im certain theyre very smelly people. I eat roti....not pita. I dont only shower once a week, I believe in discounts, not full price. And I pronounce it WHAT, not VHAT. I can proudly fly my countrys flag out of my car during a terrorist siege. A turban IS an article of clothing. Spicy foods ARE better than mild foods. Curry is a VERY tasty dish, and it IS pronounced Gaun-dee,not Gun-dee, GAUN-dee!! Pakistan IS a third world country, The first nation of Cricket And the BEST part of the middle east!! My name is Raheem! AND I AM PAKISTANI!!!! I AM CHINESE! Wai... Im not a cook, or a computer tech, or the owner of a laundromat. I dont live with my parents, I dont eat dog. I dont drive a souped-up Civic. And I dont know Ping, Ching or Wing from Beddington Heights Although Im certain theyre very rice... I mean nice people. I use chopsticks, not a fork. I rarely drive on the sidewalk. I believe in giving cash, not gifts. And I pronounce it HELLO, not HARRO. I can proudly wave my countrys flag at a tank during a massacre, Dim sum IS brunch, Gwai-Los ARE white folk, and Jet Li can kick Van Dammes ass anyday. And it IS pronounced Gon HAY FA Choi, not Gong HEE FAT Choi! China is the LARGEST country in Asia The FIRST nation of PING-PONG, And the BEST remaining COMMUNIST COUNTRY!! My name is FUNG!!! AND I AM CHINESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and finally........ I AM AMERICAN Wassup... Im not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked. And I dont live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very well. I dont know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg, although Im pretty sure they were American. I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated, Guns settle disputes, not discussions. Winning isnt everything, its the ONLY thing, And its pronounced RUF, not ROOF. I can proudly sew my countrys flag on my backpack, unless I go somewhere. Burger King IS fine dining. Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast, I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL! The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world, The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE, And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!! MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister, AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!
Posted on: Tue, 05 Nov 2013 14:17:51 +0000