I AM IN A WRONG RELATIONSHIP DOING THINGS I SHOULD NOT BE DOING... :( I was once sitting at the dawah table on campus and a student approached it saying, “Can I ask you a question?” The question sounded kind of deep, so I invited her to sit next to me on the empty chair. She took up the offer. “Please don’t judge me,” she began. Subhan Allah. The courage it must have taken for her to come and speak to me, for her to begin with that statement. After reassuring her, how could I judge her? She began— She told me that she was Muslim and in a relationship she shouldnt be in, doing things she shouldnt do. She wanted to stop but just didnt know and so she asked, fearfully: Can God forgive me? While this girl was speaking, I was thinking: look at her sincere struggle. Her desire to re-connect with God became so intense that she came to me, a student she has never even seen before, who could easily judge her, and poured out her heart. She was so desperate in her wanting to know: Could Allah forgive her? I told her that God is THE MOST MERCIFUL! He can forgive ANYTHING when you turn to Him! We talked about the steps of repentance and looked at the chief duaa of asking for forgiveness. This dua, if said with firm belief in the morning or evening, and if death happens on that day or night, the person who said it would be amongst the people of Paradise. اللَّهُمَّ أَنْتَ رَبِّي لا إِلَهَ إِلا أَنْتَ خَلَقْتَنِي وَأَنَا عَبْدُكَ وَأَنَا عَلَى عَهْدِكَ وَوَعْدِكَ مَا اسْتَطَعْتُ أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا صَنَعْتُ أَبُوءُ لَكَ بِنِعْمَتِكَ عَلَيَّ وَأَبُوءُ لَكَ بِذَنْبِي فَاغْفِرْ لِي فَإِنَّهُ لا يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلا أَنْتَ Dear God, You are my Lord! None has the right to be worshipped but You. You created me and I am Your slave, and I am faithful to my covenant and my promise as much as I can. I seek refuge with You from all the evil I have done. I acknowledge before You all the blessings You have bestowed upon me, and I confess to You all my sins. So I entreat You to forgive my sins, for nobody can forgive sins except You (Bukhari). And of course, the most intimate way is to come to Him, from the depths of one’s heart, in ones native language, with the words coming from one’s own soul, asking for His forgiveness. She left crying but smiling, resolved to try and certain God would listen. Reflect- What is our reaction when someone makes a mistake that we witness? Do we shame them and humiliate them? Of course, we should be a community that gives advice and especially seeks to accept it when applicable and implement it. But sometimes, we put ourselves in a position where we ourselves are the cause of others feeling despair. We have to ask ourselves a question: has Allah written us amongst His righteous servants? Or is that a title we have only given ourselves? Yes, in that moment, that person might be outwardly sinning- as all of us do- if that is what they are doing, but perhaps internally they are struggling and fighting every time they do it and are continually seeking to turn back to God. It takes time to change. We need mentors, we need a support system, we need alternatives and community development. It doesnt just happen. And it certainly doesnt happen when we cause others to feel unworthy. Perhaps in some people’s eyes, when someone makes a mistake, theyre looked at as a ‘sinner’ (and who amongst us is not?). But perhaps in the Sight of God, that person may be more beloved to Him because of their sincere internal struggle than some of us who can easily fall into feeling arrogant about our Islamic worship and our Islamic appearance. We need to be careful. Are we really connected? Am I really connected? And don’t get me wrong: the struggle of those who are trying to stay upright and please God Almighty internally and externally is a difficult, weighty and noble one that is frequently misunderstood and attacked. Its so hard to constantly feel isolated and outcast in society and then even sometimes within Muslim families and communities. But this reflection is for those of us who might have ‘been there’ and left it, and then feel arrogant that we’re no longer involved in the “ways of the sinners,” and perhaps even might feel better than others because we’re so pure and special, then my advice to myself is what Omar (may God be pleased with him) advised, “Take account of yourselves before you are audited.” Or in the words of Ice Cube, “Check yourself before you wreck yourself.” Hafidha Maryam Ameribrahimi
Posted on: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 05:38:30 +0000
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