I Ant Kidding... What Would The Dalai Lama Do? So there we were a few days ago, my friend and I, watching a play and holding hands. This was a special date and I had carefully ironed my pants and shirt, not a normal practice for me but one which I felt would be extra insurance against the ants which had invaded my place. The extra hot iron would take care of any. Then it happened. It bit me where, in the vernacular, “the sun don’t shine.” As an old hand at meditation, I closed my eyes and shone the spiritual light where none had even glowed before. Mr. Lobster Claws let go. Relief. But just as my inflamed brain cells began to settle down, Mr. LC struck again. Had I been home with my homies watching baseball on TV, scratching freely anywhere would’ve been acceptable in a room choked with dried pizza, beer breath and Southern emissions considered masculine fun among many men. But what would Miss Celeste think? Besides, I’m vegan and I didn’t consider any emissions toxic enough. LOL. So, I did some Kegel exercises. This caused my torso to extend. “What are you doing?” she asked. “I’m not sure, really. Well, actually I’m just doing some spiritual exercises.” “Am I making you nervous? Maybe you should’ve come by yourself.” Just then, somehow, I wondered: “What would The Dalai Lama do in this instance?” This caused me to laugh out loud, just thinking about HH’s reaction if he were thus accosted. (No disrespect, truly, toward HH – who has my utmost respect.) Miss Celeste nudged me with a quizzical glare? “Well, no, I’m just laughing because the men’s room is a funny place to leave my keys. Please excuse me for a minute.” I found the little bastard hiding in the cuff of my pants. I swear he was beaming! I ant kidding.
Posted on: Sat, 11 Oct 2014 02:45:39 +0000
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