I COULD NOT AGREE MORE. According To Dr. Claudia: Anti-bullying programs....What a crock. Yes, I said they are a crock. I could say other things, but you would think poorly of me. Yet another expert was on a national news network pontificating about what we should do about bullying and praising all of the programs designed to reduce bullying. As a professor, he has little idea as to what we are dealing with in the trenches on a daily basis, but there he is on national television selling the Kool-Aid. Oh sure, a cottage industry has sprung up to sell programs to schools, but they arent working. Anti-bullying programs are only effective in comforting parents that something is being done. If a superintendent can say, We have a program, then, just check it off the to-do list. Yet, the bullying goes on and it is reaching a blood sport level in every district of every stripe. In the past two years, Ive diagnosed a number of kids with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or Acute Stress Disorder as the result of relentless bullying. Those diagnoses arent easy to achieve. The diagnosis represents a lot of hurt for a lot of years. Anti-bullying programs are only effective in comforting parents that something is being done. If a superintendent can say, We have a program, then, just check it off the to-do list. Yet, the bullying goes on and it is reaching a blood sport level in every district of every stripe. In the past two years, Ive diagnosed a number of kids with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or Acute Stress Disorder as the result of relentless bullying. Those diagnoses arent easy to achieve. The diagnosis represents a lot of hurt for a lot of years. School Districts...STOP buying this stuff. Do the job. Do it right. Take the time to pay attention to which kids keep coming in for bullying behavior and have that kids needs address. Is s/he is being abused, in emotional distress or is s/he a predator who is evolving into a sociopath? NO anti-bullying program is gonna stop this kid if bullying is reinforcing to him/her. He or she, yes , the girls are especially vicious and may live for the thrill of bullying and getting away with it. These kids are particularly socially savvy, are attractive and can basically make you believe anything they want you to believe. Just watch them pull it off! Dont let the parents intimidate you, Mr. Principal. I dont care if Dad is a name partner in a law firm and cant believe his baby girl has set her preys backpack on fire while she was walking down the hall! Yes, she did! Boys just duke it out. Theres little guess work as what is going on. They are also more willing to own their stuff. They also forgive and forget. They move on. The girls, however, are sneakier. They use a more passive and rejecting approach. They get others to shun the prey, spread rumors and destroy them psychologically, spiritually and socially. They are the proverbial dog with a bone. They will follow-up, and cyber-stalk and make harassing phone calls. They are relentless. They dont forgive and they sure dont forget. EVER. What do we do with criminals who repeat their behavior? We incarcerate them for longer periods of time with each offense because they have a history of not learning their lesson. Why do we let kids get away with this? Probably because it is not politically correct to think that a kid can act like this intentionally. I realize that telling the truth is not popular these days, but it is what it is. If they are struggling with any kind of behavior that interferes with education, it is your job, district, to investigate. Allowing abuse is abuse itself. Ask that the kid be evaluated for problems. If your district psychologists do not have the expertise to conduct such an assessment, pay for a private clinician. We private practitioners have to tell the truth, the whole truth and guide parents to support services for themselves and their kids. Paying for a private evaluation may let you off the hook and give you permission to take action. Or, as a first step, create a behavior program in conjunction with parents so that they know exactly what will happen if the behavior persists. If parents are willing to go into therapy WITH their kids, work closely with the therapist in order to promote healthier behavior in all settings. Theres no time to waste. Parents, dont be fooled by anti-bullying programs in your schools. Theres no substitute for competent, individualized intervention for kids. All behavior is purposeful, meaningful and interpretable. Demand that your district have an intelligent plan to find out what is going on for both sides of the predator/prey dynamic and to take intelligent action. Be the parent that says, Enough!
Posted on: Fri, 14 Nov 2014 01:09:12 +0000
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