I-Marriage 2 “Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate” Barnett R. Brickner The reason we get married is we have desires. I remembered mine. I desired to have someone to talk to when my brain gets too noisy with ideas (ahem). Or someone to spend the day with just doing nothing. Or read books with. Laugh with. Dream with. Worship and serve God with. These things were God-given desires, I know. But somewhere along in the marriage, I began dumping those desires on my husband and they became “expectations”. Oh, I remember when I couldn’t find time to read, when I couldn’t talk to my husband, when we are in a phase when there was not laughter. I felt so deprived and alone. And frustrated. It’s not because my husband is a poor husband to me or a father poor father to our child. He simply didn’t meet my expectations (and my expectations are kind of from the romance novels I’ve read. Lol.) There’s a chasm of difference between desires and expectations. Desires, when it comes true, makes you feel grateful, peaceful, and calm that everything is all right. It gives room for joy and unconditional love. Expectations, when met, does not make you feel grateful at all. I do notice that when we pay our monthly internet connections, PLDT does not give us a “thank you” card or call. But when we do miss a payment, we’ll receive a personalized call reminding us, that we missed a to pay. PLDT does not take into account the previous payment records. They are more concerned if we didn’t pay the bill. That’s because PLDT expected me to do my part of the contract. They provide the internet, we pay. That could happen in a marriage. We could dump our expectations on our spouse. We could end up ungrateful. We could end up watchful for what our spouse failed to live up to. It leaves no room for gratefulness, joy, and unconditional love. And marriage becomes something to “endure” not to “enjoy”. The reason we end up disappointed and disillusioned with marriage is that when our expectations are not met. So, what should be the purpose of marriage? The purpose of the marriage is to demonstrate God’s unconditional love for our spouse. We are to be the vessel, the love “in the flesh” of God. It does not matter if our spouse deserves it or not. You are to do it for the glory of God, just as Christ for us on the cross when we don’t deserve it. The Bible has this command for us, to save us from a chaotic and unhappy marriage. Ephesians 5:21-25 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her Credits: an echo of Andy Stanley’s part 2 of I-Marriage seminar You are welcome to join our free I-Marriage seminar on Saturday, 6 pm, Dec 18, 2014, at Turning Point. 3rd Floor, First Valley Bank. Free dinner will be served.
Posted on: Mon, 15 Dec 2014 21:23:41 +0000
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