I, Rob Collings on the 13th day of May 2014, do hereby enact the following cellphone laws starting at midnight tonight. 1. Any parent with children under the legal voting age will provide a kill switch that will power off their phones to said children to use at said childs discretion. If the child is under the age of five, your phone will not work for anything but 911 until said child is in bed, asleep. This law is called Your kids are more important than make believe land aka Social Media This law is sometimes called Put down your phone, Pick up your kid (yes Ive had that copy-written) (yes Im serious) In some cultures this may be referred to as There are other people on this planet besides yourself 2. If you are seen using a cellphone in anyway in a motor vehicle while behind the wheel, on a drivable surface, moving or stopped, you will be legally run off the road by the closest non-cellphone operating driver. This law is called Getting you before you get someone else Some choose to call this law There are other people on this planet besides yourself. 3. If you attempt to do any of the following while talking or texting on your cellphone you will have your phone immediately taken and smashed with a hammer. Ordering food, Interviewing, purchasing anything from a human, babysitting, sit in a movie theater, eat in a restaurant, attend church, attend wedding, attend funeral, standing in line for anything, sitting in a waiting room, and many more to be listed after midnight. This law is called If you see a cash register in a ten foot radius, get off the phone This law is sometimes referred to as There are other people on this planet besides yourself Midnight.
Posted on: Wed, 14 May 2014 02:31:18 +0000
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