I THANK YOU IF YOU READ THIS. ~ IF YOU CARE ABOUT ME YOU SHOULD READ THIS I just wrote all of this. This video is called A Message to the Depressed. Please watch this ;( I feel this way EVERY day EVERY second, and I know most of you will be like Im sorry Im here for you and yes Im glad to hear that and it does count for me and I think of everyone who says it to me all the time, but it just doesnt help like he said. This guy is an awesome person whos been there and I just wish that I was as happy as he seemed to be. Yeah yeah itll get better but for now, Im just not even happy all the time. And before anyone starts any crap or before my mom thinks it, no its not because of her or my dad or because of anything. I have the most amazing parents I could ask for, right now Im actually crying because my mom doesnt think shes that good of a parent and she feels like no one wants her here but I do, I cant imagine a world without my mom. I try to tell her this and Ill tell her again right now.. Mom I know I dont help out Im sorry, I treat everyone like crap especially you. I know I always have an attitude but I honestly cant help it. I say this a lot like I have problems yeah but also being a teenager trying to be so perfect in a world like this is hard and it just makes me really sad. I love you mom. Wow, so many tears. Anyways on with my stupid rant. I rarely come out of my room or go outside because like this guy said in the video, its just like I caanntt. Not even repunzel can help me climb out of this hole with her long hair, we have to wait until I see the light above me. I used to always want to go do something but I started to get sadder and sadder, school gets harder and harder, and then I hate to bring this up but Kitty died. A lot of people dont even know that her and I talked, but we did. We video chatted, talked in messages, gave each other high fives whenever we walked past each other, and more. That put a WHOLE lot of depression on my shoulders. On top of that, I dont cry in front of people because it embarrasses me for some reason and I dont like the attention on me. So at school, I tried so hard not to cry even though everyone else did, when she came on the news, I was with my family so I didnt cry. My sister said if you where friends then why arent you crying I didnt know what to say.. But I cry, all the time. In my room with the lights off before I go to sleep. Sometimes on the phone with a friend from the Xbox or to Steven. And I feel better after that. And I still dont cry in front of people even though its perfectly fine to. Theres more but I dont really feel like typing anymore. And mom, please dont kill me cause its past two in the morning that Im posting this, I just had to get it out and I couldnt sleep unless I did. Love you all
Posted on: Sat, 16 Aug 2014 06:31:25 +0000
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