I THINK THIS IS A MUST READ! By SILAS NYANCHWANI VIA KTN KENYA A significant population of women in Nairobi can be considered eligible spinsters. They are single, educated, probably working and ready to settle down. But where have all the good, eligible bachelors gone? Most educated women were loud, dismissive and proud in their early 20s. The youthful idealism that drove them made them see life myopically. Down the line they dump the right men, only to arrive at 30 with no ‘dream man’ in sight. There are those who choose to dabble with single-hood, maybe with a baby or fomenting with feminist ideals along the line that ‘a woman does not need a man to complement her life’. Good luck for them. Let us turn our attention to those who would like to be married but confronted by the conspicuous absence of serious men. Past 28, a woman’s biological capital starts diminishing. It takes a lot of money to maintain a smooth skin and fight gravity on certain body parts. Those lucky to have the ageless bodies like those of Mariah Carey or Toni Braxton, can buy time but soon we classify them as cunning cougars. Those not as luck to have been married by 32 discover what a daunting task is to find the perfect match. Past 32, available men are either widowers in their 40s or younger men gold-digging her. A 32-year-old man will first try someone younger before trying a 32-year-old spinster carrying enough baggage to claim a significant portion of the Dandora dump site. It is about this time that a woman really becomes desperate. She lowers her standards to unacceptable levels. Life has taught me that men despise desperate women. As a woman, when you play desperate, a man will almost invariably exploit you. I know women who in the name of putting themselves out there, end up doing utterly inane things. I begin with those who want to be second wives to a man who has fallen out with his first wife. They start adopting a foolish philosophy that it can work. This also goes to those who want to rush into a relationship with a young, recently divorced man. In their anxiety and desperation, they don’t want to dig into the background of the man. Maybe he is a wife-beater, violent and uncaring. When men are dating, we behave like politicians before elections. The true colour of man only comes after marriage. Secondly, we have this class of desperate women who on the first date are willing to make chapatis, wash his jeans, scrub the floor and even replace the curtains. They do this in order to boost their wifely credentials. Very few men approve of this behaviour. While they enjoy the ‘free-service’, it scares the man away. He can smell the desperation. And desperation reeks a terrible smell that no man wants it hanging around his house. A man feels trapped and cheated. The third terrible blunder happens if she runs into the relatives of the man. She will act like a saint to win their favourable votes. She will impose her will on all the relatives. And some have a knack of actually winning them. But in the end, this is a manipulative strategy that often backfires. The most approved women by relatives are the least favourable candidates. A man will always know when a woman is acting to win those decisive votes. And finally, desperate spinsters have a proclivity to utter the marriage word in the formative stages of a relationship. That brings with it commitment, something we have all become allergic to. While desperation and anxiety are an inevitable psychological predicament, the spinster should at least retain some discipline, class and principles with her. There is no need for self-groveling antics that only serve to chase the man away than to win him over.
Posted on: Sat, 05 Oct 2013 08:43:16 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015