I.The Power of Thought Change your thoughts, change your life Book: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy “1980” Author: David D. Burns, ---------------------------------------------------------- “You don’t have to be seriously depressed to derive great benefits from these new methods. We can all benefit from a mental ‘tune-up’ from time to time.” “What is the key to releasing yourself from your emotional prison? Simply this: Your thoughts create your emotions; therefore, your emotions cannot prove that your thoughts are accurate. Unpleasant feelings merely indicate that you are thinking something negative and believing it. Your emotions follow your thoughts just as surely as baby ducks follow their mother.” ------------------------------- Demystifying depression • Throughout the history of psychiatry, depression has been an emotional disorder. • The cognitive view is that an intellectual error creates or worsens the depressive illness. • Depression is one illness that we do not have to have. • Negative thoughts have a snowball effect. • When someone is depressed their worthlessness, expressed in terms of the four “Ds” of "Defeated, Defective, Deserted, and Deprived", seems to be the absolute truth. • Depressed patients actually lose the ability to think clearly, and the worse the depression, the greater the distortion. When thinking is clear and has a sense of perspective, it is impossible not to have a healthy level of self-esteem and confidence. • There is a distinction between genuine sadness and depression: - The “Sadness”: is a part of being human, enlarges our experience of life, and brings self-knowledge. - While The “Depression”: suffocates us by closing our view of life’s possibilities. ---------------------------------------------------- Feelings are not facts: ------------ ❖ We tend to believe that our emotions reflect a self-evident truth that is beyond question. Emotions fool us into thinking that they are “right,” and bad feelings about ourselves or our abilities seem unchallengeable. We are told to “trust our feelings.” But if the thoughts feeding them are not rational, or are based on misconception or prejudice, trusting our feelings is a very risky thing to do. ❖ “Your emotions follow your thoughts just as surely as baby ducks follow their mother. But the fact that the baby ducks follow faithfully along doesn’t prove that the mother knows where she is going.” Emotions are almost the last thing we should trust, because “feelings are not facts.” ❖ Does “feeling great” prove that you are a particularly worthy person? If the answer is no, then feeling bad does not, logically, say anything about your true worth. Hence, “Your feelings do not determine your worth, simply your relative state of comfort or discomfort,” ------------------------------------------ How to develop a low IQ (“Irritability Quotient”): ---------------- ❖ The two regular approaches to anger and irritability are “turning anger inward”, where it corrodes from inside and leads to depression and apathy; and "expression", or “letting it all out.” ❖ Expression can sometimes be effective, is simplistic, and may even get you into trouble. The cognitive approach transcends both by virtually eliminating the need to deal with anger, because there is very little of it around in the first place. However, first you must have the realization that it is “hot thoughts,” rather than events, that create your anger. Even if something happens that by any normal standards is bad, you should still be able to choose your response, rather than being prey to automatic or uncontrollable reactions. If you are angry, it is because you have chosen to be. ❖ Would you like to overcome your fear of criticism? Even more, to be able to talk back when criticized, in a cool, non-defensive way? This ability would have a tremendous impact on your self-perception. Criticism may be right or wrong, or somewhere in between, but one way to find out clearly is to ask the critic questions. Be specific, even if what was said was harsh and personal. This will reveal either the truth in what has been said, giving you the opportunity to rectify your behavior, or that the person is talking out of anger, in which case you will know that the criticism was an expression of their own frustration rather than a real criticism of you. Either way, there is no need for a negative emotional reaction on your part. You are left in the position where you can either use the criticism or dismiss it and get on with things. You also defuse the wrath of the critic. ❖ Much anger is defensiveness against loss of self-esteem. However, by learning to control your angry feelings your self-esteem stays on an even keel, as you refuse to turn every situation into an emotional one. As Burns says: “You rarely need your anger in order to be human.” Controlling your feelings does not turn you into a robot, but on the contrary gives you vastly more energy for living life and enjoying it. ************************************ Conclusion: --------- Feelings are not facts. Always question whether your emotions accurately reflect reality. Your thoughts controls your emotions. Emotions will turn into Actions. These actions will finally determine your Results. You have to decide to either get your life into positive "T.E.A.R" or have it full of tears. T-houghts E-motions A-ctions R-esults The above rule is really “Applicable to any field of life” *************************************** Reference: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy “1980” Author: David D. Burns
Posted on: Tue, 16 Jul 2013 02:36:54 +0000
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