I am a survivor of suicide. I dont talk about it a lot these days, as Ive reached the point where it feels like a lifetime ago and is far behind me. Healing was a long and grief-stricken process. There were times when I felt very alone and there were times when I felt lost and confused. Yes, I experienced a range of emotions before making peace with the past. But the one thought that never crossed my mind in those moments was the ill-informed opinion that suicide is the way out for selfish people. Suicide is a lot of things, but selfish isnt one of them. Suicide is a decision made out of desperation, hopelessness, isolation and loneliness. The black hole that is clinical depression is all-consuming. Feeling like a burden to loved ones, feeling like there is no way out, feeling trapped and feeling isolated are all common among people who suffer from depression. People who say that suicide is selfish always reference the family members. Its selfish to leave children, spouses and other family members behind, so they say. Theyre not thinking about them. What they dont know is that those very loved ones are the reason many people hang on for just one more day. They do think about their loved ones, probably up until the very last moment in many cases. But the soul-crushing depression that envelops them leaves them feeling like there is no alternative. Like the only way to get out is to opt out. And that is a devastating thought to endure,especially to those whove never experienced such pain. Until youve stared down that level of depression, until youve lost your soul to a sea of emptiness and darkness... I dont think you have the right to make those judgments. You might not understand it, and you are certainly entitled to your own feelings, but making those judgments and spreading that kind of negativity wont help the next person. In fact, it will only hurt others. As the world mourns the loss of Robin Williams, people everywhere are left feeling helpless and confused. How could someone who appeared so happy in actuality be so very depressed? The truth is that many, many people face the very same struggle each and every day. Some will commit suicide. Some will attempt. And some will hang on for dear life. Most wont be able to ask for the help that they need to overcome their mental illness. You can help. Know the warning signs for suicide. 50-75% of people who attempt suicide will tell someone about their intention. Listen when people talk. Make eye contact. Convey empathy. And for the love of people everywhere, put down that ridiculous not-so-SmartPhone and be human. Check in on friends struggling with depression. Even if they dont answer the phone or come to the door, make an effort to let them know that you are there. Friendship isnt about saving lost souls; friendship is about listening and being present. Reach out to survivors and those who have suffered the aftermath of depression and suicide. Practice using the words suicide and depression so that they roll off the tongue as easily as unicorns and bubble gum. Listen as they tell their stories. Hold their hands. Be kind with their hearts. And hug them every single time. Encourage help. Learn about the resources in your area so that you can help friends and loved ones in need. Dont be afraid to check in over and over again. Dont be afraid to convey your concern. One human connection can make a big difference in the life of someone struggling with mental illness and/or survivors guilt. 30,000 people commit suicide in the United States each year. 750,000 people attempt suicide. Its time to raise awareness, increase empathy and kindness, and bring those numbers down. Its time to talk about suicide and depression. Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Take care and God bless.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 05:53:19 +0000
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