I am so close to being at my wits end! So worried and stressed out over everything and these are legitimate worries and cover many different situations! I just tried to call to check on Mama, and as usual, whoever answers doesnt really bother asking the nurse to come to the phone but tells me to call after 10:30 or so, because they are all too busy to talk before then. I have been told time and time again, that when I arrive in the morning, they will allow me back. Every morning I ring the buzzer, and ask to see Cecelia Daniels, and they tell me that visitors cannot come back before 11:30. But each time I finally get in, the nurse says she dont understand and will make sure its made clear but it has yet to be. This morning when 11:30 arrived, I was allowed in and for the 2nd time, my mother was nowhere to be found! And when I ask others where she is, nobody ever seems to know! It always happens at a time where her nurse isnt there at the time. So I was left alone again today, searching for myself by going to find somebody that I knew to help me! I went to the ER today and Angela Angie Halmstad made some calls and located her for me! I have asked every morning, when they get the call that she is going to the OR, And I know how it works. They just dont run up and get you unannounced! But have asked them to please call me when they find out she is going to the OR, cause I will rush on up there because she has some major issues going on and I would like to see her before she goes back, but for whatever reason, they just seem to be refusing to do this! Today, I got a sharpie and wrote that message on paper and taped it to the wall. The one lady that works in the office across from Mamas room, which is room 12, she is very sweet and has known Mama for years and knows me too. But she isnt responsible for this stuff the nurses are doing. They seem rude and annoyed by my questions and are making me very uneasy and stressed out cause when I ask questions, they pretty much say they arent sure what is going on. She is down in a corner far from the nurses station and that concerns me too because they leave her pumps beeping forever. I wish she could be transferred to burns with people that I know and who act like concerned human beings! She has another surgery in the morning, not sure if I already said that, but I just am getting more and more depressed. Not sure how this is going to go and feel like those caring for her dont care for her and last week before I had any idea this nonsense was coming, I had a bunch of gigs, and also had many gigs scored this week! Jeff had bought that new washing machine and last week I bought Dalton winter clothes and we spent money having fun at the fair and Dylan is taking 5 classes and working full time and I told him that I was going to work a lot this week and would be able to send him a few hundred dollars to pay his bills, and he could use that time to study instead of working overtime, just to make it! I was feeling good about being able to help him, and now I am not able to go to these houses and make all of this money because Mama is still so critical and nobody knows what to expect but she is very sick and I am the only one who can be there every morning. I have to be and cannot understand those who tell me that she doesnt know I am there anyway, and me being there isnt any help to her, so just go to my gigs! I cant yet because she is too unstable and though I cannot do anything, I need to be there because nobody else there on that floor seems to be paying her much attention! And this may last for weeks so I am not sure when I can feel alright about not going in the morning, as things are now. And if she goes home soon, with this huge hole in the middle of her stomach, she isnt going to be able to do anything for herself for a while for sure. Her doctor, who is very nice and he is concerned is also worried about her lungs. Now Dylan is sick on top of having no real time to study for exams and I wish there was some way that I could make IOUs to many people, and can have a notary person stamp it to make it official, so they could front me the money, and when Mama isnt so critical and not being cared for by cold, unfriendly strangers and she is better, I could come do hard labor to work off the money! But there isnt many people that actually want to pay another person to clean their house but I have a few regular weekly gigs, but had planned some extras this week, cause Dylan is in need of money and never ever asked for any, but with me making regular money these days, I wanted to be able to give him a few hundred, so he could relax and study for exams! That meant a lot to me cause I feel so bad for him having to work so many hours while taking 5 classes. So at this time, I am consumed with worries, and sorrows and depression and not sure what I am going to do about any of this. I sure wish they would move Mama to the unit of love, for at least me knowing she is being cared for in a kind and loving fashion! But I was suppose to send emails to teachers, and make appointments for Dalton to the dentist and doctor, which also cannot happen now! Please pray for Mama and for all of us who are so worried. I dont know what to do anymore and it seems everything and everybody is working against me. I have to go on to bed, cause I know that even if I call at 11, they will not talk to me. I havent been this down and out in I dont know how long? Maybe never! Just seems that everything is going wrong and OMG that 2 hour pick up time is really not working for me now with Mama in the hospital! I am thinking of asking someone if it is possible that Dalton can walk home with her child, and that way, I can just pick him up at the entrance of the neighborhood, and wouldnt even have to worry about him coming to her house cause I would just have to arrive at the actual dismissal time, and let his come to entrance and take him home. But am going to wait until maybe tomorrow to ask this lady, cause not sure she would care to be part of all that action. Just please pray for all of this nightmarish stuff to end and for things to work out and we can get back on track at some point of living a normal life. Cause I have about had it now! Dont worry peeps. Never would I become so sad that I would even slightly consider trying to get out, cause I would never do such to my family and still have children that need me to be around for them. Just overwhelmed right now and worried over everything going on in every aspect of life at this time.
Posted on: Thu, 06 Nov 2014 02:33:50 +0000
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