I am updating my status re my dad ... so when he passed over at the end of june i hadnt seen him for 16 years ... nor had i seen any of his photos etc . Well his wife sent me pics he had kept of me from when i was little plus an album , very old, with photos of my nan who i adored, his mum, and her husband, plus photos of their parents, my dads nan and grandad... amazing :) plus , she said in the letter that she knew my dad was the perpetrator.... she said that .... wow .... i feel seen in that i cudnt have crossed the divide without playing his game ... she also said they were happy for 26 years , albeit on his terms mainly ... so she was acknowledging that he was a serious control freak and that our separation wasnt my fault... also , his last letter to me was very cruel ...and bitter.... his wife thinks that his brain might have been addled with the cancer... i have already burned it so my poor memory lets me forget it .... and my understanding now is that when i want to i can feel both my parents in me as they are now easier to reach ... both passed over now... isnt it strange how , if weve had a tough time with these parents, that when they die its lighter than ever it was before .... no guilt no blame no shame my dad was not able to do more or he would have simples :) and why shud i think he should do more than he did ? its none of my buisness and so with a peaceful heart i can say alls well
Posted on: Sat, 11 Oct 2014 07:50:04 +0000
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