I cannot deal with all this shit anymore!! I am doing my hardest to try and put on a brave face whilst everything crumbles around me while I try and deal with it and get something good into my life (apart from my friends who are great). The dwp screw me over with regards to my esa, while I am trying to get my mental health help to get better, by taking me off it when Im unable to even do my own grocery shopping or go walking etc without a friend with me let alone work....but Im waiting for the help. Also because of this my housing benefit got stopped so Im scared shitless of becoming homeless again, and ofcourse I did NOT get any money in my account today so Im screwed until this appeal goes through etc. The bloody bathroom cant get sorted and is now smelling of damp and getting mold because whatever the issue from upstairs hasnt been fixed so Im still getting all the water in my wall, so the council can sod off. Im also beginning to hate myself alot more right now physically. Due to my issues I cant get out walking everyday (because I hide in the house) unless someone Im comfortable with goes with me. Im fat, overweight and unhealthy which is just making me sick of my mirror. Then ofcourse there is all of the usual stuff getting to me with regards to missing the people loved and lost in my life, barely sleeping and doing all I can to get better but it is taking so much time to even get started. I needed to rant a bit, I do apologise to anyone sitting going blah blah blah and this is not a sign of weakness, this is just someone who holds it all in to try and be strong and just cant anymore. Thank you to everyone who has been, still is or will be in my life....I couldnt have dealt with or still deal with everything without you all whether its talking about my issues or just being in my company to make me forget all my problems for a night.
Posted on: Tue, 09 Sep 2014 00:21:53 +0000
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