I can’t remember the last time I gave a Chemo Update, I guess that means it’s time for a new one… I think I can sum everything up by saying that my body doesnt feel any better, but Im not getting significantly worse. The shots have been a completely difference experience from the IV. With the IV, my side effects were so predictable. With the shots, every day is different. I feel like I can think clearer than I did on the IV’s, but my body is still incredibly fatigued and weak. Up until a couple days ago I couldn’t stand to shower and walking to the kitchen left me out of breath. Now I can get up and walk around the house without getting too faint, so I take that as a win. I started typing up an update a few days ago, but was too depressed by my own thoughts that I stopped writing. Last week was especially hard. My meds aren’t helping with my pain or comfort anymore and its made this entire experience so much more difficult. Along with the depression have been deep feelings of lonliness. I know I have been isolating myself from everyone, but I hadn’t realized how bad it was getting. Last weekend I spent time with a good friend, went to church, and spent some time with my cousins. This much activity was brutal on my body and I slept 12hours solid afterwards, but it was good for my mentality. It made me realize how much happier I am just by being around people. So, I know I’ve said this before, but Im going to make a better effort to reply to emails and calls. Im going to start at the beginning and work my way forward. Having everyone’s support gives me so much strength; I’m sorry I haven’t shown my appreciation more. Its been so long since Ive done an update, Im not sure what Ive shared, so heres a quick outline update on me: -I’ve been doing bandaging for 3 weeks now. This involves wrapping my leg with 4 rolls of foam and 4 ache bandages, covers from my toes to my booty, and makes me walk like a penguin. I hate it, but according to my Lymphademia therapist it’s the best way to reduce swelling. -My memory is shot. My mom calls it chemo brain and I swear its worse than prego brain. Seriously Ill walk into the kitchen and warm up some chicken broth, forget I put it into the microwave, go back to bed for hours, wake up starving, go into the kitchen to eat, and find my now cold lunch. I do this multiple times a day. It’s RIDIULOUS. -I have another mole on my leg that’s tripled in size. I saw my dermo yesterday and he said hes almost positive it’s not cancer, but that’s what he said last time too. He gave me a cortisone cream to use for a cpl weeks. If it doesnt change then well biopsy it. Because its on my right leg, the risk of infection is really high, so my doctors all agree that we should be safe and try this method first. -I don’t know if I prefer shots or infusions. Its nice not having to spend 4 hours in the hospital every day, but the side effects of the shots are so unpredictable. Im still too scared to do them myself, so my mom does them every time. They burn sooo bad and make my stomach break out in red blotchy patches. But I bought some cool ninja turtle bandaids so that’s exciting I guess. -Ive really let my nutrition go to hell over the past few months. I’ve gained 25lbs, Im insanely insecure, and now my health in other ways is suffering. The combination of meds [which cause dry mouth] and the pot [cotton mouth], and lack of nutrition due to poor eating, lead to me breaking a tooth. I saw the dentist last week and had to get a temp crown. This lovely adventure just added to the physical pain and headaches.. -I briefly mentioned above my meds not working any more. For this Im referring to the medical marijuana. About 4 days ago it just stopped working. I cant feel its effects any more. Has this happened to anyone else? -I cant believe its already August. It feels like the last four months have flown by. It still doesnt feel like this is my life. If you can do one thing for me, it would be to get yourself checked regularly by a dermo, encourage your friends and family to do as well. I wouldn’t wish what Im going through on anyone, and for most people, skin cancer is 100% preventable. There is no excuse for anyone who knows me to not take care of themselves. If not for me, do it for your family. Cancer doesnt just affect the patient; it affects everyone whose life they touch. Thank you for all of the continued love and support
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 01:16:40 +0000
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