I crawled, I walked, and then I ran, But I stumbled before the flight began, So I dragged myself on the runway to fly As I felt the angel in me slowly die I sinned and I repented and again I sinned, Smothering in all the regrets I’d lived I followed every Iblees— I fed his greed I crossed the boundaries ’til I wasn’t even me My spirit so restless, now trying to escape, All through this nightmare I’ve been awake The burden of it all, gravity couldn’t defy And I waved the angel in me goodbye I bathed in my sins, to an ebony heart But now is the time that I want a new start Sunshine has been sucked out of my life; I am alive yet dead inside My head betrayed my heart, a head deceived by thoughts, My soul was filled with endless dots So I dug a bit more, I searched the depth of my soul I found the answer there, so I searched no more The month of mercy has knocked at my door And I’m now ready to open all four— Tawheed, Salah, Sawm and Zakaat To shed the darkness, tearing it apart Let the light peek through holes Let goosebumps fill me whole I stare at the clock as it steals my time, Cut its hands as it commits that crime I shouldn’t say soon, I should say now— Tomorrow is too late for me to bow 30 days are all I have, the clock won’t tick slow I shall always reap what I always sow So I burn all the bridges to not go back Back to the shame, back to the wreck I found peace when I bowed down to Him To set my worth there, I don’t need wings The weathers may change, life may move around I wouldn’t want to fly because I like the ground Angels don’t have free-will like mine They only follow the commandments divine Over angels, Allah gave Adam supremacy He repented but I couldn’t continue the legacy I don’t need to be an angel— I need to be me All I need is a heart set free Free for The One Who deserves the most To Him my free-will is now sold I’m glad the realization hit me swift Before I could drown myself in countless sins I won’t get up ’til You pardon every wrong deed O Merciful, another chance is all I need I will try my best to be my best This tired soul now needs a rest Please help me repair my damaged heart Sorry, I couldn’t keep your treasure unharmed Exhausted by my own sins, I plead to You, Set me free from the burden I grew I can’t lift it anymore, it’s burying me six feet deep How will Iwalk towards You, carrying this heap So before my breath leaves my lips Forgive me, My Rabb, I don’t deserve it Tears came streaming down my face As I realized I was pulled from the haze Samina Farooq
Posted on: Tue, 22 Jul 2014 12:08:36 +0000
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