I do love my mom and the rest of my family but whats heart breaking is that i didnt start anything to do with the last conflict nothing was said hurtful or personal about anyone at all,,all that was about was a great innocent weekend that it..why i will never understand..but for once in my life someone somewhere stood up for me just me no one needed to start drama and heartbreak in my life and by god i feel peace in what ive done for me and mine and i will continue to feel peace in what ive done,,god brought me to an amazing place of peace in my life,,i wish others could find theres..ive never asked nor will i ever ask for help from anyone and im proud of that all ive ever wanted from my family was love and understanding,,but i can never just get those simple things,,only guilt and pain,,but i will no longer except those things,,my lord loves me for me and so does others,,why does anyone else feel anything more then that,,or any thing less for me,,love me or hate me or get the hell away from me,,its simple but i will never change who i am inside nor the fights ive fought,,because i am who i am,,i will always live my family maybe its time for them to decide if they feel the same,,im always here for them that will never change,but i will never again feel the guilt and pain that keeps being brought to my door and my heart,,god has me,,my babies have me and i will never bring my babies down the hurtful road ive been brought down,,a mamma stands by her kids no matter what and i will stop this trend of heartache right here,,anyone want to follow me and my crazy ass then ur more then welcome,,but my life has always been alone,,ive always taken care of mine,,and my babies will eventually love me for that,,cause this mamma will never make my babies feel alone and empty and hurt,cause this mamma is here as long as my good lord will allow no matter what,,my babies mammas here,,,,through it all and i will never leave u cause thats what mammas do,,,dear lord thank u for the peace i feel tonight in my mistakes and my decisions from here on out,,and thank u for making me loyal to u and my family who mean the absolute most,,,the lord is with me and my family,,and peace is mine,,amen
Posted on: Wed, 02 Oct 2013 00:17:49 +0000
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