I dont deal well with post-partum of meaningful events in my life. Its true. My mind starts scanning the horizons of my days, searching for the shiny thing. Interestingly, today, even in the after-aftering of something that was so deeply important to me, I dont feel it. I dont feel that sad ...tutto fini... (as Violetta sang yesterday through me). And yes, there are reasons. I am a reasoning being (ruled by Mercury). Geminis are not very feeling people, as a rule. And an Aquarius rising makes for a certain detachment as well. I know you who know me are thinking What? Flora not feeling??? But its true. I think more than I feel. And I am just intelligent enough, just talented enough to understand greatness but not enough to actually possess it. It is, I believe this is an interesting, painful, not entirely unique but unusual way to be. That and my Leo moon add fury and ego to the honor-driven, roar of my pride. Probably not a great catch, but thats an old story. I have digressed (me me me). Look, this is what I started out wanting to say...I woke up today knowing that Marek is showing me the song cycle he has written for my voice. Believe it or not, he rode his bike all the way to Oregon City to hear me sing yesterday. He extended his stay here, even though he has to get back to business and fly to the east coast. Hes written something for me. An entire cycle. Existence & Mortality---and he recently told me he used some of my writing in one piece. This doesnt happen every day. Marek had approached me months ago...last winter about writing for my voice. He came to my place, had me prove my three octaves and show him any breaks. I sent him a couple of pieces of writing, more to show him my thoughts about existence and also because, when he was with me, Id read him some of my poems. Then, off he went to NY to work on projects. This week, I finally get to hear the cycle. How can I be sad? Then, I log in to FB and I have a message from Mitchell, telling me he and Josh were in the car to see me yesterday when an emergency call made them turn the car around but, would I like to learn a piece (by Erling Wold) hes willing to arrange for the three of us (Patrick on sax, Mitchell on piano and me, singing the bass part in my range). How can I be sad? The day is gorgeous. I walked out of my building this early morning to raining gold. The wind stirred and the leaves fluttered down. Those last leaves which seemed to be hanging on, but barely, like a seven year-olds baby tooth, by a thread, suddenly, all at once, with the sunlight barely over the horizon and lighting them more gold more yellow more pink and red and raw salmon pink and they were falling on my head and all around me. I gasped and then, wanting to be standing with someone, sharing this and realizing I had no one, I took out my phone. Just then, as I began to snap away, a man walked toward me and smiled. This is just so beautiful! I said and he laughed at me. In a good way, he laughed at me.
Posted on: Mon, 11 Nov 2013 19:24:03 +0000
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