I dont know how I could or will ever be able to thank you all wonderful Facebook family for all the love you have sent me on this very very tough day....lots of tears have flowed, cant stop thinking of my poor dad in heaven and how much I miss him everyday but particularly an extra bit more today..You wait all year round to celebrate your birthday and then in an instant, in a season, it means nothing, nothing more than another day but you, my family of friends have definitely made me feel special and loved and I definitely needed that today so thank you! Thank you so much for all the love and kindness you have shown me today and reminded me that there is light in this dark time.... And I very much feel the love...I got a lovely message this morning first thing that simply said Glad you were born which was enough to take me through the day...For those sad moments, I thought of how happy dad would have been when I was born and thats not in a self praising over confident kind of way but I know he loved me and I hope he was proud of me, so everytime the tears fell today I thought of how he was so lovely to me, so supportive of me and all my messing, how he laughed at my very bad jokes and supplied me with most of them, how he took care of me and protected me, how he inspired me, how he kept my heart warm when the world was cold and especially today how he was always smiling on my birthday and I know he loved me so that message that said Glad you were born, was definitely like something dad would have said or hopefully thought..Its weird what you take for granted and in a blink, in a minute, things look so different yet completely the same....I thought by now I might be brightening up in myself but Im just struggling a little to shake off this uneasy rhythm in my heart...Im just not feeling like myself but I know its only a few weeks since dad left so I just have to give myself a chance to come up for air too... I know in time the cloud of sadness will lift and the ache in my heart will ease I hope but just for now Im standing in the shadow of myself- never thought I would feel unsure or question living life to the full but just for the moment im slightly unsteady...its like I fell off the carousel that is life and for now, I dont feel like getting back on..instead Ill wait it out for another bit. Sorry to all who have rang and texted and who I havent got back to, please know I read all your messages and see all the missed calls and I promise I will get back to you....thanks so much for dialling and typing all those lovely messages and all those cards, you have no idea what they mean.....I guess when someone you love so dearly is taken away from your world, it makes your question everything....I never doubted life, never doubted loving life or loving people so much that the risk was high if they were taken away in a blink...My family have always meant the world to me and my parents particularly...to lose one half of my heart is like losing a part of me...And I know so many people have went through what Im going through and to know that alone is a massive support.... I know in time ill pick me back up and get back on that carousel....I know how lucky I am to have so many amazing people who have supported us through this hard time and today I was reminded again how lucky I am having so many amazing people in my life. You are my lights, you are my diamonds, you are my family too....thanks so much and please know that you-every single one of my friends and that includes the man I met at the bus stop and probably the bus driver too, thank you for being a part of my life...my life may be quite the puzzle at the moment but bit by bit, friend by friend, ill put it back together and get back on board...Lots of love to one and all, no words could thank you all enough, older and definitely so much more wiser this year I am, Louise xxx PS Love those around you a little bit extra more tomorrow than you did today, take those photos, share those jokes and just enjoy those great people in your life because you never know what life has in store and in a few days, in a few weeks or in a season, your world might be turned upside down and you definitely cant go back....simply love those who treat you good and enjoy every second with them! xx PPS So sorry about the length of this but you know me, I cant keep anything short when I start typing. Thanks for reading this far, you really are a star x youtube/watch?v=H7p7dMYMDXs
Posted on: Wed, 01 Oct 2014 23:22:10 +0000
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